IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environement. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

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The environment is damaged by our use of various
plastic
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 products
such
Linking Words
 as bags, bottles and packaging. There is a considerable negative
effecton
Correct your spelling
effect on
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 by these
plastics
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, which can only be tackled by
collective
Correct article usage
a collective
show examples
 approach of governments and
individuals
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 as explained below. Most importantly,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature has evolved for millions of years without
plastics
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 in it,
thus
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 it is unprepared.
For instance
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, birds die by getting their head stuck inside
plastic
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 bottles when they try to drink the water inside.
Hence
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, animals lack the ability to comprehend how
plastics
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 can harm them. Because of
this
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 lack of comprehension,
plastics
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 are silent killers of fauna. Another example is
buildup
Add an article
a buildup
the buildup
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 of
plastic
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 waste on
ocean
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the ocean
show examples
 surface. Because of
this
Linking Words
 buildup, water cannot absorb enough oxygen and become less habitable for all kinds of marine plants and fish. Fortunately, there are ways
with
Change preposition
in
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 which
individuals
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 and government can collaborate to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
For instance
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,
individuals
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 can raise awareness of the issues caused by
plastics
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 in their communities and promote
use
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the use
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 of reusable bags and bottles.
Additionally
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, governments can impose taxes on
plastics
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,
hence
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 increasing the price and decreasing the demand for
such
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 products. In conclusion, to tackle the issues caused by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic
Use synonyms
 products both governments and
individuals
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 need to take action.

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task and provides relevant points, it could be enhanced by elaborating more on how these solutions can be implemented and their potential impacts. Try to provide more concrete examples or statistical data to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, consider using more linking words and phrases to strengthen the connections between your ideas, ensuring a smoother flow of content.
task response
Remember to proofread for minor grammatical errors (e.g., 'effecton' should be 'effect on'). Although small errors don’t heavily detract from your score, correcting them can polish your essay.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction that sets the context and a concise conclusion that summarizes the main points.
logical structure
The arguments presented are logical and the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic by identifying problems and suggesting solutions.
supported main points
The essay engages in discussing both governmental and individual responsibilities towards solving the environmental problem, showing a balanced approach.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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