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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learingn a foreign langauge at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #learingn #langauge #school #outweigh
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Nowadays, whether learning a new
language
 has attracted numerous controversies and drawn the public's attention. Some people believe that it should be started at primary
school
,
while
 others hold the view that learning should take place at secondary
school
. In my opinion, I would prefer to start
this
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an earlier age
due to
 social and effectiveness reasons.  First and foremost, children's ability and intellectual curiosity are higher
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they are younger.
Although
 potentially negative impacts of adding pressure to young kids must be taken into account, I still reckon that
acquire
Wrong verb form
acquiring
show examples
 a new native tongue has in many ways enormously enriched people's lives.
For example
, a well-known American scientist Einstein once said that youth can absorb new materials faster than adults, the adaptability is better in juniors.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effectiveness is
the other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
 factor
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
 be considered. As far as the
school
 is supportive, the ultimate aim
to put
Change preposition
of putting
show examples
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 another
language
 is to increase
competiveness
Correct your spelling
competitiveness
 for the future career path. Adolescents need to face more challenges and study electives for the public exam,
this
 may add more burden to their studies and
thus
 less time for them to relax. Youngers' study life is more fruitful and cheerful, so the effectiveness
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 learning a new
language
 is elevated. In conclusion, I hold the view that learning a new
language
 at primary
school
 than in secondary
school
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a better future development.
Submitted by kiqueenie95 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and structure, use a wider range of linking words to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to another.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully elaborated and supported with specific examples or detailed explanations to achieve a higher score in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Although the introduction and conclusion are present, strive for a more detailed conclusion that summarizes the key points discussed.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question and presents a clear position on the topic of learning a foreign language.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly introduces the topic and provides a brief overview of the writer's opinion.
task achievement
The essay highlights both the cognitive and social advantages of early language learning, supporting the writer's perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Absorbing new information
  • Problem-solving
  • Creativity
  • Critical thinking
  • Flexibility
  • Pronunciation
  • Fluency
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global perspective
  • Academic achievement
  • Linguistic structures
  • Grammar
  • Resource allocation
  • Curriculum overload
  • Language interference
  • Linguistic development
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