IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is thought by some that a school teachers role is to motivate and inspire students. However, other people believe that a teachers primary role is to pass on knowledge . What do you think is the role of a teacher?

#school #teachers #role #students #people #teacher
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It is said that tutors have an important role in encouraging
students
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 to achieve
the
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apply
show examples
success.
While
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 others argue that teachers should focus on delivering science to learners. I utterly agree with the former opinion. One of the main
task
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tasks
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 which every teacher should address is to find the basic talents of his
students
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. It means that children should be guided in a path aligned with their abilities and interests. So, any tutor should be vigilant about the
learner
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learner's
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fundemental
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fundamental
 passions and motivate the courage inside him to pursue the right path.
For instance
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, a student talented in art should be nurtured
in being
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to be
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 an artist and not forced to be perfect at mathematics. I
also
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 believe pupils should be taught essential social skills in schools.
undubtly
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undoubtedly
, It is a crucial
requierment
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requirement
 for any individual who wants to take an effective part in his society. As
students
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 spend a vast amount of time in contact with
schools
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school
show examples
stuffs
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staff
show examples
 they have the
responsibilty
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responsibility
 to
develope
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develop
positive social
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 in kids.
Forexample
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For example
, it has
shown
Add a missing verb
been shown
show examples
 that
students
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 studying in
institues
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institutes
 with more focus on extra school activity have lower criminal habits in future. Some people may argue
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
 delivering more knowledge to
students
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 could lead to better achievements in their academic life.
However
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,
this
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 mindset should be refuted, because only basic science seems to be enough and remembered in future. But, It is the way we comprehend and utilize
this
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 information
is
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that is
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 the key factor in our success.
overall
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, the more
educational
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the educational
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 system
focus
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focuses
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 on
dicsovering
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discovering
 talents and inciting individuals to pursue what they love and believe the more progressing and
powerfull
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powerful
 society members we have.
Submitted by drmmdi on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the next to improve the logical flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant, expanding on them with more detail and context would strengthen your arguments.
Task Achievement
Make your main arguments clearer and more comprehensive to ensure the reader fully grasps your stance on each point.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear framework.
Task Achievement
You have effectively addressed both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the topic.
Task Achievement
The relevance of social skills and the idea of nurturing talents in students are well addressed and make the essay interesting.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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