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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts and the table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US between 1988 and 2000.

The pie charts and the table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US between 1988 and 2000.
#information #value #sources #fish
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The pie charts and table below
compares
Correct subject-verb agreement
compare
show examples
 the total value and sources of
fish
 from 1988
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2000 introduced in the
Unites
Correct your spelling
United
show examples
 States.
Overall
, the three pie charts,
one
 for the year 1988,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
one
1992
Change preposition
in 1992
show examples
 and the
last
one
2000
Change preposition
in 2000
show examples
,
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 us that the sources imported to the US come from three countries: Canada, the other
one
 from China and
then
, the remaining countries. As we can see, the percentage of importation to the US varies from
one
 year to another. Indeed, at first in 1988, a huge majority of
fish
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 exported from Canada up to 60%.
In contrast
, in 2000 only 28% .
Furthermore
, in 1992 and 2000, there is not
one
 dominant country exporting its
fish
.
However
, in 2000, sources of
fish
 coming from
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 countries
plays
Wrong verb form
played
show examples
 an important role as an exporter for the Americans.
Additionally
, the total values in billions of dollars have increased over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. At
first
Add a comma
first,
show examples
 it made 6.57
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars and in 2000 up to 10.72 which is almost
the
Correct article usage
apply
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double.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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