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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that school curriculums should focus more on practical skills, like financial literacy and cooking, rather than traditional subjects, like history and literature. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?”

#people #school #curriculums #focus #skills #literacy #subjects #history #literature
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The majority of society thinks that school
program
 should spend their time on the illustration of practical abilities that will reduce the
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 in future of students,colliding with educational
program
Change the noun form
programs
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such
 as financial literacy and cooking. Meanwhile,the opposite side of society believes in the idea of promoting traditional education. I partly agree with
this
,and in
this
 essay, I’m gonna promote my point of view First of all,both are having a significant impact on people’s lives. Having the base knowledge of cooking and financial literacy will reduce most of your potential problems in your beginning way as an adult.
For instance
,my older sister was a teenager when she arrived in another city after her graduation. She didn’t know
basis
Add an article
the basis
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 of cooking at all, which was an enormous issue for the student that
supposed
Add a missing verb
was supposed
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 to save her money. These live situations lead us to the idea of receiving and staying literate with
these educational
Change the determiner
this educational program
these educational programs
show examples
program
. Second of all, I think that classes of traditional educational
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
also
 have a place to be in education.
Such
 as history and literature.Both of them have a significant role in the formulation and creation of the society that we have nowadays.These lessons give us a great example of historical personalities and characters in multiple cultures and situations that give us the information for analyzing and solving problems, not repeating them. In conclusion,focusing on these two points of view we come to the statement of the important role of two of these
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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 of studies.
Submitted by akramkartzhan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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