In some countries, museums charge people for admission, while in some other countries, people are admitted into museums free of charge. Do you think the advantages of charging admission outweigh its disadvantages?
Some countries charge visitors for admission
in
Change preposition
to
museum
, Fix the agreement mistake
museums
while
other countries do not charge. I personally believe that while
museums
suffer from finanacial
Correct your spelling
financial
crisis
if they are free, the benefits of Fix the agreement mistake
crises
this
outweigh the drawbacks because free admission to museums
allows people
from all economic backgrounds to visit
free of cost
.
Museums
will suffer from financial
crisis if they provide visitor admission free of Correct article usage
a financial
cost
. The budget of a museum
comes from the government fund and visitor cost
. If Fix the agreement mistake
costs
museums
become free, visitor
will not pay money for their Add an article
the visitor
a visitor
visit
, and museums
will suffer from financial
crisis. Add an article
the financial
a financial
As a result
, the museum
authority will face financial problems while
continuing the museum
, maintaining it and giving salaries to its staff. For example
, all museums
in Bangladesh are free for the general public, and therefore
, it is a huge financial burden for the museum
authority to bear this
huge amount of maintenance cost
. However
, I personally believe that museums
should be free because they allow people
to visit
who have poor income.
However
, if museums
are free, it allows people
to visit
museums
free of cost
. Museums
possess a vast number of knowledge
about history
, geography, society, cultures and lifestyles of the country and other countries. It is the right of the students and general Correct article usage
the history
people
from all socioeconomic backgrounds to know about their country and the whole world. Therefore
, museums
should give that
opportunity to Correct determiner usage
the
people
to visit
free of cost
and gain
knowledge
and experience of these. For example
, in India, the government allows people
to visit
museums
free of cost
, and therefore
, people
from all classes can visit
them and gain
knowledge
about the culture, history, war and people
of that country. Therefore
, I believe that museums
should be free for people
because they can visit
them free of cost
and gain
knowledge
.
In conclusion, I personally believe that while
museums
suffer from financial difficulties when they are free, the general public can easily visit
museums
free of cost
and gain
knowledge
.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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language
Ensure consistent spelling and grammar to enhance clarity and fluency.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to better support your points and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more explicit linking words and cohesive devices between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument effectively.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported with examples, offering a fair explanation of each position.
complete response
The task response is complete, addressing the advantages and disadvantages of both options with a balanced view.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite