Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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In
this
day and age, A majority of children
decrease
Verb problem
spend
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time
to read
Change the verb form
reading
show examples
books
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
rather than
using
Verb problem
spending
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time on modern
technology
.
Meanwhile
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Meanwhile,
show examples
a number of individuals believe
this
is a beneficial
aspects
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aspect
show examples
, others argue that
this
is a detrimental
aspects
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aspect
show examples
. From my personal perspective, I agree to a certain extent with the given statement;
however
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however,
show examples
there are some issues to be considered. Both sides will be examined in the
follwoing
Correct your spelling
following
paragraphs. On the one hand, it is undeniable that there are a variety of advantages associated with using
technology
. The primary and most crucial is that it results in the development of
essentail
Correct your spelling
essential
skills that they need in future careers;
moreover
, people who
had
Wrong verb form
have
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ability
Change the article
the ability
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to
use
technology
have more opportunities. Youngsters,
for instance
,
use
ChatGPT
Correct article usage
the ChatGPT
show examples
application to help them answer their questions. Another positive reason is that juniors occasionally
use
technology
to support their education. To clarify, modern technologies
such
as AI can generate
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
range of education. It leads to achieving excellence and enhancing knowledge.
On the contrary
,
although
there are some benefits of having
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to
use
modern
technology
, several drawbacks should be well considered. The initial and most obvious one is that unemployment
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been caused by technologies on the grounds that in the future children
has
Wrong verb form
will have
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less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
chances and more competitiveness.
This
is
due to
the fact that companies effort to
use
new tools
instead
of humans that can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to an increasing number of people who do not have a job. In
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
terms
Fix the agreement mistake
term
show examples
, it may result in international issues. Limiting social interaction is the
last
negative factor to be taken into account.
Therefore
, students
ocassionally
Correct your spelling
occasionally
use
a lot of
teachnology
Correct your spelling
technology
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
their
moblie
Correct your spelling
mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
.
Nowaday
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Nowadays
show examples
,
teachnologies
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technologies
provide
any things
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anything
show examples
in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of entertainment or education, students believe that
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can live without real-life relationships. It produces them do not try to integrate into society. In conclusion, even though there are some detrimental
aspects
of using
technology
, I hold the view that
favourable
Correct article usage
the favourable
show examples
aspects
outweigh them. If individuals know how to balance when
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
use
modern
technology
, it is almost certain
, They
Correct your spelling
that they
will have more opportunities to enhance knowledge and improve skills.
Submitted by t.shetthong on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear single idea and that ideas are logically connected. Use more transitional phrases to link sentences and paragraphs fluidly.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to support your main points, focusing on relevance to the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that ideas presented are developed fully to offer a comprehensive perspective on the topic. This includes using relevant evidence and examples.
language accuracy
Revisit grammar and sentence structure to refine clarity and eliminate minor errors.
coherence cohesion
Good use of introductory and concluding statements to frame the discussion.
task achievement
Addresses both sides of the argument satisfactorily, showcasing a balanced understanding.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • interactivity
  • multimedia resources
  • educational apps
  • global connectivity
  • imagination
  • critical thinking
  • attention span
  • concentration
  • vocabulary depth
  • literary knowledge
  • cultural awareness
  • digital literacy
  • conventional reading
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