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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below gives information about the average annual spending of university students in three different countries.

The table below gives information about the average annual spending of university students in three different countries.
The given table compares the percentage of expenditure which college students from three
countries
Use synonyms
 spend on various living expenses each year.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total spending of entries in
country
Use synonyms
 A was higher than the expenditure of those in
countries
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 and
C
Use synonyms
. In all the regions, pupils spent the highest proportion of their budget on accommodation and food.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
country
Use synonyms
 A, the total spending of inductees is the highest, at 5000$ per year, compared with $4500 and $1500 for those in regions
B
Use synonyms
 and
C
Use synonyms
 respectively. Accommodation accounts for 45% of the total expenditure of students in
country
Use synonyms
 A,
while
Linking Words
 the proportions were lower for those in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 at 35% and
country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 at only 30%.
However
Linking Words
, in terms of food, the largest proportion is spent on food, accounting for 36%. The figures for
countries
Use synonyms
 A and
B
Use synonyms
 are 22% and 28% respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
, a high rate of budget has allocated on books, at 21%, in comparison with 9% for ones in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 and just 3% in
country
Use synonyms
 A.
By contrast
Linking Words
, admissions in
countries
Use synonyms
 A and
B
Use synonyms
 spent 22% and 23% respectively of their budget on leisure,
while
Linking Words
 in
country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
, students spent only 12% of their total money on
this
Linking Words
 category.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, country, b, c with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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