IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education. Some people argue that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prison to help them find jobs when they leave prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It’s undeniable that many criminals have a low level of
education
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. There is an ongoing debate about whether the best way to reduce
crime
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 is to educate inmates in
prison
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 to help them find jobs when they leave
prison
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. I agree with
this
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 view in
a
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apply
show examples
large part that it would reduce recidivism and improve their chances of finding employment upon their release. One major
reasons
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reason
show examples
 for supporting
prison
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education
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 is that can lower the rate of repeat
criming
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crime
.
Education
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 improves job prospects, giving former inmates alternatives to
crime
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 as a means of income. With stable employment, individuals are less likely to engage in criminal activities to meet financial needs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, educations help instill a better understanding of social norms and values, making it easier for
indivisuals
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individuals
 to integrate into society and contribute positively.
Nevertheless
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, access to quality
education
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 in prisons can be limited by
resouces
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resources
, as funding and qualified staff are
neccessary
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necessary
 to provide effective programs. One limitation is the
availiability
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availability
 of funding and resources which can be difficult for some governments or regions to sustain.
Additionally
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, not all inmates are motivated to take part in educational
opportunaties
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opportunities
. In conclusion,
while
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 educating prisoners is a
promissing
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promising
 method to reduce
crime
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, it requires sufficient funding and resources. With
the
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apply
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adequate support,
prison
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education
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 can
paly
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play
show examples
 a
crusial
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crucial
 role in reducing
crime
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 when they leave
prison
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.

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task achievement
Ensure all reasonings are clearly linked to the main argument and supported with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen the overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Revise sentence structure for clarity and flow. Aim for a more varied sentence length and complexity to enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and acknowledges counterarguments, which enhances the depth of the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is well-defined, making it easy to follow the progression of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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