IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the distribution of the worl'd's water and the uses of water in three countries.

The charts below show the distribution of the worl'd's water and the uses of water in three countries.
#show #distribution #worl #water #three #countries
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The given two pie charts illustrate the distribution of
water
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world, and the given line chart illustrates the use of
water
Use synonyms
 in
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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 in three different countries Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Canada.
Overall
Linking Words
, the maximum
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in the world is salt
water
Use synonyms
, and the rest of little amount of
water
Use synonyms
 is fresh
water
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the maximum amount of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 is ice and glaciers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Egypt and Saudi Arabia spend the maximum
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 agriculture
while
Linking Words
 Canada spends the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 for domestic purposes. 97% of the
water
Use synonyms
 of the world is salt
water
Use synonyms
, and only 3% of
water
Use synonyms
 is fresh
water
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, among all fresh
water
Use synonyms
, the major
proportion
Use synonyms
, 79% are ice and glaciers
while
Linking Words
 the surface
water
Use synonyms
 is only 1%. Egypt and Saudia Arabia spend the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 agriculture which is roughly 80% and roughly 76% respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
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both countries spend around 13% in
industry
Add an article
the industry
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 sector.
However
Linking Words
, Canada
spend
Change the verb form
spends
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approxiamately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 80%
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 domestic purposes
while
Linking Words
 only around 10%
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 agriculture.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, moreover, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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