IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, A,erican, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019.

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, A,erican, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019.
#hours #chinese #erican #turkish #brazilian #tourists #leisure #activities #holiday #greece
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The charts present the general number of times in a period for tourists from Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian spend their free time activities whilst on holiday in Greece.
Overall
, Reading a book is the most loving activity for Chinese and American guests.
while
 staying out on the coast is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people from Turkey and Brazil favourite.
However
, visiting places had fewer fans for all the countries. Chinese visitors seem like really love to read a book, in fact, they can spend 8
hours
 a
day
 on it.
This
 is a massive number of other activities and countries, and
on the other hand
, they are not into going to the other places. American visitors love to read books followed by going to the beach, where they can spend 5
Hours
 and 4
Hours
, respectively.
In addition
, They
also
 love to explore other places like Turkish guests for 3
hours
 a
day
. The favourite activity for Turkish visitors is staying up at the oceanfront and can spend 5
hours
.
Then
, They have the same number as Brazilian tourists for reading a book, which is 4
hours
 a
day
. The
last
 is Brazilian, they can run through their time 6
hours
 a
day
 to stay on the beach.
Furthermore
, reading books is their second favourite for 4
hours
 each
day
, and the
last
 is visiting
other area
Change the wording
another area
other areas
show examples
 it just 2
hours
 a
day
.
Submitted by raudahalimah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, day with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: