IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the best way to reduce crime rate is to increase the number of police on the streets. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crime #rate #police #streets
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There is no denying the fact that some people think increasing the number of force on roads reduces
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 rate.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that
this
 idea is the best to decline the crime rate, there is
also
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that increasing the figure of law enforcement on the
streets
 may shrink the atrocity amount.
To begin
 with, having a lot of
squad
Fix the agreement mistake
squads
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 on the
streets
 will prevent criminals from committing
breach
Fix the agreement mistake
breaches
show examples
.
In other words
, criminals are always afraid of the police, so watching them around the city might afraid them.
In addition
, there are many experiences around the world about increasing the statistic of law enforcement
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
, which significantly succeed.
For instance
, Saudi Arabia in 2000
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reduced the breach amount by about 45% when they increased the force statistic on roads. Another point to consider, police people when they are on the
streets
 may prevent many crimes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from happening,
while
 they could watch any strange movements. It is possible to say, that they will keep
eye
Correct article usage
an eye
show examples
 on the atrocity before it happens.
Furthermore
, the rate of how many crimes arrested are is more from blue on the
streets
.
For example
, recent research by the University of Prince Sultan has shown that 80% of corruption are arrested by troops when they where on roads. In conclusion, despite individuals having different views, I believe that having more police on the
streets
 will decrease the number of crimes because of the concerns that the criminals will have before doing any atrocity and
constabulary
Correct article usage
the constabulary
show examples
 will watch any strange movements.
Submitted by abdallah550603 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • response times
  • mitigating
  • preventative measure
  • root causes
  • comprehensive reforms
  • over-policing
  • racial profiling
  • community trust
  • cohesive environment
  • community policing
  • investment in technology
  • surveillance
  • data analytics
What to do next:
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