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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country’s success. What are those factors? Which, of all factors, do you think are most important?

#people #progress #measure #country’s #success #factors
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There are some arguments about the
country
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's
success
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. Some believe economic development is the only factor that shows
success
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while
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 opponents think other
factors
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 are
also
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 important.
This
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 essay will discuss all the
factors
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 which contribute to a
country
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's
accomplishment
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 and some of the important
factors
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 from my point of view. Economic prosperity is one of the crucial issues to make countries successful,
however
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, other
factors
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 like social well-being, healthcare,
freedom
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 and democracy are very significant in measuring the
success
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 of a
country
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.
These aspect
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This aspect
These aspects
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besides
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 the economic progress can demonstrate the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
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country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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 accomplishments. Because one criterion for measuring the
country
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's
success
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 is the satisfaction of its community.
For example
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, if
community
Correct article usage
a community
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 in a wealthy
country
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 don’t have access to healthcare facilities or
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
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 have
freedom
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 they will not feel satisfied. So,
this
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country
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 is not successful and should notice other aspects of governance
accomplishment
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.
While
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, we can list various criteria which contribute to the
country
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's
accomplishment
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, in my perspective democracy and
freedom
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 are two areas that
along with
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 the economic situation have an impact on the
accomplishment
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 of a
country
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. It means when
community
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the community
a community
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 of a
country
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 have the right to express themselves and participate in policy making and rule development they affect the way of governance.
Hence
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, they might influence their
society
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society's
show examples
 improvement and satisfaction which are pivotal domains in a
country
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's achievement. As we can say, in democratic societies, people may accept regulations easily because
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 attend
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the process of making rules. In conclusion,
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country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
 achievements are not only dependent on economic improvement but
also
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 on other criteria
such
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 as democracy and
freedom
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 are very significant for achievement evaluation
Submitted by bahare.hatamy on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • holistic approach
  • subjective well-being
  • quality of life
  • human development index (HDI)
  • green economy
  • technological prowess
  • social cohesion
  • equality and equity
  • cultural vitality
  • political transparency
  • judicial efficacy
  • civil liberties
  • progress indicators
  • societal prosperity
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