IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where re/evant.

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where re/evant.
#show #government #expenditure #summarise #information #features #comparisons #re #evant
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The charts illustrate the local government expenditure in two
years
Use synonyms
, 2010 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance,
while
Linking Words
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 had the largest amounts of expenditure in 2010 and 2015, culture, leisure and other segments
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contained the lowest sectors of expenditure. It is evident that, in 2010,
although
Linking Words
 the percentage of
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 was 24%, it decreased by 3%, reaching 21% in 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of
Correct article usage
the walfare
show examples
walfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
sector
Use synonyms
 increased by 5%, reaching 13%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
priode
Correct your spelling
period
. The
expendture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 of
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 remained approximately stable during these two
years
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the
expendture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
pensions
Correct article usage
the pensions
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 remained at 19% in both
years
Use synonyms
,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
borrowing
Correct article usage
the borrowing
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
planged
Correct your spelling
plunged
planned
 twice, from 5% to 10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, two sectors including, transport, culture and leisure, decreased from 5 per cent to 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2015. It is noticeable that the
expendture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 of
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
Use synonyms
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 experienced no
changed
Replace the word
change
show examples
 during these
years
Use synonyms
 and contained 1% of
Correct article usage
the totall
show examples
totall
Correct your spelling
total
 percentages.
Submitted by mahanz on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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