IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
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The given bar chart illustrates the results of a survey about the habit of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
 purchase and consumption by the public in five different
cities
Use synonyms
 in Australia, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobert.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 in all
cities
Use synonyms
 in Australia preferred going to a cafe and
drink
Wrong verb form
drinking
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in past four weeks.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in all
cities
Use synonyms
,
relatively
Add an article
a relatively
show examples
 lower proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 purchased instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 1 month,
while
Linking Words
 a few proportion of the public preferred buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks. In Melbourne and Hobert, around 64% and around 63% of the public respectively went to a cafe to drink
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks.
Moreover
Linking Words
, approximately 55% and approximately 50% of
people
Use synonyms
 respectively went to drink either
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in a cafe in Brisbane and Adelaide. Meanwhile, roughly, 54% of
people
Use synonyms
 bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Hobert in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 1 month, which was the highest among other
cities
Use synonyms
. Around 45% of
people
Use synonyms
 in Sydney bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 1 month
while
Linking Words
 only 35% of
people
Use synonyms
 purchased fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Brisbane.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, moreover, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, tea, cities, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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