IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that students who achieve the highest scorer in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #students #scorer #exams #show #progress
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should give
rewards
Use synonyms
 to
students
Use synonyms
 who get the highest
scorer
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
 in their exams. Others
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that the
students
Use synonyms
 who make
progress
Use synonyms
 should be rewarded
instead
Linking Words
. It seems to me that it is better to reward
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who have the highest achievement.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who show
progress
Use synonyms
 should be rewarded for many reasons. One reason is that
rewards
Use synonyms
 or gifts as a motivation to
students
Use synonyms
 who show
progress
Use synonyms
 can help them to try their best to continue their academic performance.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can achieve higher results in the future.
Additionally
Linking Words
, They can become a model for other
students
Use synonyms
 to follow them.
For example
Linking Words
, one student ranks
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of
class
Add an article
the class
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 they tried their best to become
a average
Correct the article-noun agreement
an average student
average students
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it can be not meaningful for others
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
their effort should be recognised so that all
students
Use synonyms
 will follow them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it seems to me that we should give
rewards
Use synonyms
 to
students
Use synonyms
 who get the highest
scoreer
Correct your spelling
scorer
score
scores
 in their exams for several reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they deserve to get
rewards
Use synonyms
 because it is not easy to have the highest scorers. They have to spend a lot of time studying or make
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 effort to achieve outstanding performance.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , rewarding top achievers promotes a sense of academic excellence and creates a competitive environment, motivating other
students
Use synonyms
 to strive for higher goals. By doing so, schools can cultivate a culture of success that benefits all
students
Use synonyms
 In conclusion,
While
Linking Words
 some people say that
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should give
rewards
Use synonyms
 to people who make
progress
Use synonyms
, It seems to me that we
will
Verb problem
should
show examples
 give
rewards
Use synonyms
 to
students
Use synonyms
 who have
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 scorers
Submitted by nguyennguyet.vcu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: