IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #percentage #greenhouse #gas #emissions
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The first pie chart
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 Australian household uses
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
in
Change preposition
at
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 an average level. The second pie
chat
Correct your spelling
chart
show examples
 illustrates the
proprotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
greenshouse
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
greens house
gas
emissions
 released from
this
energy
 use.
Overall
, the percentage of using
energy
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 as water heating accounts for the largest percentage in
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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,
while
 the proportion of greenhouse
gas
emissions
 which result from cooling is the lowest level at 3%. It is clearly seen from the first pie chart that Australian
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 use
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
enery
Correct your spelling
energy
 for heating, water heating and other appliances which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 42%, 30% and 15% respectively. The
energy
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used for refrigeration accounts for 7%
and
Correct word choice
apply
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whereas
,
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
 family
consumps
Correct your spelling
consumes
energy
 for lighting and cooling at 4% and 2% respectively. The greenhouse
gas
emissions
 from water heating
accounts
Fix the agreement mistake
account
show examples
 for the largest figure at 32%, other
applicances
Correct your spelling
appliances
 and
regrigeration
Correct your spelling
refrigeration
 released greenhouse
gas
emissions
 are 28% and 14% respectively. the figures for lighting and cooling are 8% and 3% respectively
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gas, emissions, energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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