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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.
#bar #information #subjects #students #two #middle #schools #school #b
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The graph provides key information about
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 A and
B
Change noun form
B's
show examples
 favorite subjects
choosing
Wrong verb form
chosen
show examples
 by
students
. The
uint
Correct your spelling
unit
show examples
 is measured in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
students
.
Overall
, it is clear from the graph that
school
 A
students
' recorded the maximum figure in
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports subjects
show examples
subject
 at 36,
whereas
school
 B was at 25
students
 in craft and drawing.
According to
 what is shown,
school
 A
students
 recorded the lowest
number
 of
students
 in craft and drawing, language, social sciences, and sciences in which all of them were less than 10
students
.
In contrast
, in
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports subjects
show examples
subject
 there was
Correct article usage
a sharply
show examples
sharply increased
Replace the word
sharp increase
show examples
 to 36
students
. In terms of
school
 B, there is variation in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
students
 in each studying
materials
Fix the agreement mistake
material
show examples
. Science, sport, and social science
registed
Correct your spelling
registered
 the lowest
number
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2, 5 and 10
students
 respectively.
However
,
Correct article usage
the langauge
show examples
langauge
Correct your spelling
language
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 was
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 by 18
students
, and the highest
chossing
Correct your spelling
choosing
subject
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
craft and drawing by 25
students
.
Submitted by jo on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, students, number, subject with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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