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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The charts below show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1994, 2004 and 2013

The charts below show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1994, 2004 and 2013
#show #sales #cars #australia
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The
cart
Correct your spelling
chart
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 compares the sales of new
car
Use synonyms
models
Use synonyms
 in Australia,
sedans
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,
SUVs
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 and other
car
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models
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 in 1994, 2004 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
best selling
Add a hyphen
best-selling
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car
Use synonyms
models
Use synonyms
 were
sedans
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
least selling
Add a hyphen
least-selling
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one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 were
SUVs
Use synonyms
 in three years. As the chart shows, the most
selling
Wrong verb form
sold
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Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 were
sedans
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 with 74%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the least sold
models
Use synonyms
 were
SUVs
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 in 1994. 19% of all
cars
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 were sold for other
cars
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. The total selling
car
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models
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 were 42900 in 1994. In 2004
sedans
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 were sold more than
SUVs
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, 62% and 17%, respectively. The other
car
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models
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 were sold
21
Change preposition
at 21
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%. The total selling
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 in 2004
were
Change the verb form
was
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 71000. The next year was 2013. In 2013 other
car
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models
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 were sold less than
sedans
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, 32% and 51%, respectively. 17% of total
cars
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 were sold
SUVs
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 in 2013. The total selling
cars
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 85000 in 2013.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words car, models, sedans, suvs, cars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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