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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is said that the amount of violence on TV programmes has negative effects on our social development and therefore should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#amount #violence #tv #programmes #effects #development
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Nowadays, it is undeniable that
TV
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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various
programs
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 to entertain
society
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,
however
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 not a few of those
programs
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 contain violence which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 negative
impacts
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
Use synonyms
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 improvement. I firmly assert that those
programs
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 should be reduced since
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be affected to social
walfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine some of
negative
Add an article
the negative
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impacts
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 that might be released
due to
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 violence on
TV
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 programmes.
To begin
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 with, Television has a significant role in
a
Remove the article
apply
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society
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, some people watch
TV
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 in their leisure time
for relaxing
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to relax
show examples
,
killing
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to kill
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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boredom, or just for
entertaining
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entertainment
show examples
.
regarding to
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apply
show examples
research by
influencer
Capitalize word
Influencer
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 2023, mentioned that about 80%
every
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of every
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 home has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own
TV
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. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
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 some
of
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apply
show examples
programs
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 give drawbacks to
individuals
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individuals'
individual's
show examples
improvments
Correct your spelling
improvements
, some of them make
programs
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 as their assault references practically in real life, which
leading
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leads
show examples
 to inconvenience in
society
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.
For example
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, action
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
 which
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 some strategies
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 very popular and many people like to watch, in fact that a terrorist can
addopt
Correct your spelling
adopt
 the strategies to compile his/her plan.
Additionally
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,
as
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apply
show examples
parent
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parents
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 usually utilize movies or
programs
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 as a tool to keep their
children
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 calm, but unfortunately
that
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apply
show examples
children
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 need
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full
of
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apply
show examples
control from their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 to consume the movies. If
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 wise
to select
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in selecting
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 what kind of movies
children
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 should watch, it might lead to
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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develpoment
Correct your spelling
development
character
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characters
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of
children
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.
For instance
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, a young child at 6 age
continueosly
Correct your spelling
continues
consume
Fix the infinitive
to consume
show examples
 a crime movie for a long time period it will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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totally
Use synonyms
impacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
impact
show examples
 how the way a child
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
,
act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
show examples
 and who wanna be in future.
Therefore
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, to reduce crimes in real life,
programs
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 which
contains
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contain
show examples
 violence should be banned.
To sum up
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,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
commonly people consume
TV
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 programmes as entertainment which bring
a positive
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive impact
positive impacts
show examples
impacts
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to reduce
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on reducing
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 stress,
however
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 some
of
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apply
show examples
programs
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 may be triggered some negative
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
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 in
socielty
Correct your spelling
society
 which
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 a crime.
Thus
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, a stack holder should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
make a good
decission
Correct your spelling
decision
 and make some
rgulation
Correct your spelling
regulation
regulations
 regarding
to release
Change the verb form
releasing
show examples
 a
programe
Correct your spelling
programme
 to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
.
Submitted by masry.pakpahan on

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