IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years that may cities in the world are now "one big traffic jam" How true do you think this statement is? What measurement can government take to avoid this.

#car #ownership #years #cities #world #traffic #jam #measurement #government
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In the past few decades, there has been a noticeable
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in owning private
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in various towns which
lead
Wrong verb form
has led
show examples
 to traffic congestion. In my opinion, I totally agree with the statement. To solve
this
 issue, the government should encourage citizens to
use
 public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
instead
 of individual cars. As for the first question, I support the statement that
Large
Correct article usage
a Large
show examples
 demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
car
 ownership will cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slow-moving traffic, particularly
rush
Change preposition
during rush
show examples
 hour. It is significant that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the more cars on roads, the slower
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
. Advanced technology has
play
Change the verb form
played
show examples
 an
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 role in
vehicle
Add an article
the vehicle
show examples
 industry, which
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the cost of
car
 manufactory allowing every individual
be able
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to purchase a
car
. A great example is New York,
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 every
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 will give a
car
 to their child as a gift
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 graduation day. With
regrads
Correct your spelling
regard
 to the second question, the primary solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem is that the government need to promote the
use
 of public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
such
 as buses and trains. Both buses and
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 should be free or low cost encouraging individuals
decide
Fix the infinitive
to decide
show examples
 to
use
 them
instead
 of private
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
.
Moreover
,
the
Change the word
their
show examples
quility
Correct your spelling
quality
 of them should be
impoved
Correct your spelling
improved
 to
attacted
Correct your spelling
attract
 more
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 attention. Japan is a clear example
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
succuess
Correct your spelling
successfully
 promoting using trains and buses
due to
quality
Correct pronoun usage
their quality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
To sum up
, the number of individual cars has increased causing traffic jams
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays. I agree with
this
staement
Correct your spelling
statement
 and think that it is
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 price lower than before. Encouraging citizens to
use
 public transportation by reducing
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 and
enchancing
Correct your spelling
enhancing
 quality will solve
this
 issue.
Submitted by pakcheerac on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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