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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Various fertilizers are used now a days for food production. This is a practice that has more drawbacks than advantages. Do you agree or disagree?

#fertilizers #food #production #practice
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The trend of the usage of
fertilizers
 for
food
production
 has become a
pollemic
Correct your spelling
polemic
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. I concur with the view that
this
 practice shows more disadvantages than advantages because of the dangers that will come.
To begin
 with,
fertilizers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been commonly used in
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 countries over the years. The farmers believe it will help to increase the
quality
 of the
food
production
.
However
, lately, the
quality
 of the
fertilizers
 has become a threat for the plants. Recent studies
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that numerous
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been
mix
Wrong verb form
mixed
show examples
 in the
fertilizers
 to help the plants grow and harvest faster than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 used to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
, many farmers tend to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fertilizers
 to make the harvest season faster so that it will
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 their profit. The
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fertilizers
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
significantly impact the
quality
 of
the
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apply
show examples
food
production
. There are many cases
report
Wrong verb form
reported
show examples
 that
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 there are plenty
Change preposition
of complaint
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complaint
Fix the agreement mistake
complaints
show examples
 and critics from the
costumer
Correct your spelling
customer
show examples
 related
the
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to the
show examples
quality
 of organic
food
 in the market lately.
This
occur
Change the verb form
occurs
show examples
 both in
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 market and the supermarket where they guarantee to sell the best
quality
food
 in town. The report says the cause of
this
 phenomenon one of which is the usage of
fertilizers
. The government should
make
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper
act
Replace the word
action
show examples
 to handle
this
 situation,
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
 the
quality
 of the
food
 might decline throughout the years. For the reasons I mentioned above, I believe the trend
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 using
fertilizers
 for
food
production
 significantly shows more drawbacks than
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumer
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to be aware of what kind of chemicals
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 use for
their
Change the word
the
show examples
food
production
 they want to
consumption
Replace the word
consume
show examples
 in their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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