Task 1. The graph show the participation of australian children in sports outside school hours in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feautures and make comparisons where releavnt . task 1

Task 1. The graph show the participation of australian children in sports outside school hours in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feautures and make comparisons where releavnt . task 1
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph compares the percentages of young learners,who participated in swimming,
football
Use synonyms
,
netball
Use synonyms
,
basketball
Correct word choice
and basketball
show examples
,and who were not during learning hours in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,it can be seen that
while
Linking Words
boys
reperesented
Correct your spelling
represented
the highest
involment
Correct your spelling
involvement
in
football
Use synonyms
and basketball,girls tended to
participated
Change the verb
participate
show examples
in both swimming and
netball
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with,approximately 18% of girls had
did
Verb problem
played
show examples
netball
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the second highest ratio among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all,
whereas
Linking Words
it was just below only to the
segement
Correct your spelling
segment
of male
football
Use synonyms
,which was one-fifth.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,gents participation
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
netball
Use synonyms
and the female
involment
Correct your spelling
involvement
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
football
Use synonyms
was just below 5%.
However
Linking Words
,roughly 5% of feminine were higher than the opposite gender for swimming,and the
revese
Correct your spelling
reverse
was true for basketball.
In contrast
Linking Words
,some of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both genders were not
flavourable
Correct your spelling
favourable
for sports,and it was
recordered
Correct your spelling
recorded
as 5% of girls and around 4% of boys.
Submitted by ranpuluk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words football, netball with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: