IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumers. Some people believe we should buy food from the local farmers to protect environment and support local businesses. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the past few decades, there has been a noticeable increase in supporting local
food
Use synonyms
. Some individuals
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that purchasing local production
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 businesses in their area and
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
 pollution from travelling goods. In my opinion, I think the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 including
sustainable
Correct article usage
a sustainable
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 environment and enhancing local store profits outweigh
Correct article usage
the drawback
show examples
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 some
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
 products from differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 weather
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. On the one hand, the clearest disadvantage of supporting local
food
Use synonyms
 is the quality of
food
Use synonyms
, particularly fruits
such
Linking Words
 as
strawberry
Fix the agreement mistake
strawberries
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, watermelon and
blueberry
Fix the agreement mistake
blueberries
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. Some fruits require a specific condition
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 wet soil or high temperature, leading to easily
have
Wrong verb form
having
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a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unexpected taste and small size. A great example is durians which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not be planted in winter countries like China, England, United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the primary profit of buying native foods is boosting local business economics. Buying local products
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 small stores
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
near the area
has
Change the verb form
to have
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 more income which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
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 to
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more native
residents
Change noun form
residents'
resident's
show examples
 profits. Another advantage of
this
Linking Words
 is reducing the amount of carbon dioxide emission from
Correct article usage
the traveling
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 process. Carbon dioxide,
generating
Wrong verb form
generated
show examples
 during vehicle travelling, is a gas that creates the greenhouse effect, the root cause of
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
 change problem.
Therefore
Linking Words
, promoting local
food
Use synonyms
 will
be prevent
Change the verb form
prevent
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 disasters
such
Linking Words
 as
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
 that
cause
Wrong verb form
are caused
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from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 ice melting.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 buying local
food
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
food
Use synonyms
, I think that there are more benefits than
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 which are
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
show examples
 the local stores and
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • sustain
  • local economies
  • freshness
  • nutritious
  • preservatives
  • community
  • consumer-farmer relationships
  • mass-produced
  • accessibility
  • limited availability
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