Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some populations think that to decrease the percentage of increased obesity among children the
school
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administration has to make
sports
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participation indoors or outdoors necessary for each student.
This
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essay totally agrees with enforcing the
students
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to engage in
sports
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activities. First of all, in order to help in lowering the ratio of obesity among
school
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students
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, schools must link the
students
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' performance with their involvement in
sports
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activities.
For example
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, increase the
sports
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subject credits and encourage them by giving bounces if they participate in any
sports
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championship.
This
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will make the
students
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more interested in playing
sports
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than ever. Another way to help in
this
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issue is
try
Change the verb form
to try
trying
show examples
to find out the preferred sport for each student and
locket
Correct your spelling
lock
show examples
them in
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
club that should be established by the
school
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or the Ministry of Education. Second , cooperate with the Ministry of
Health
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to help overweight
students
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by referring them to appropriate care .
Also
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, they must activate the
students
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' clinic engagement by evaluating and following up on the
students
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'
health
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and weight.
Furthermore
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, regular sessions must happen over the year to know what struggles face the
students
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while
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they try to commit to
sports
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.
Lastly
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, support the
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students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
commitment to a healthy diet by providing the
school
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cafeteria with a list of healthy meals.
Also
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, provide the
students
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with a 20% discount on the cafeteria meals.
Moreover
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,
forbbien
Correct your spelling
forbidden
the cafeteria to seal any unhealthy snacks. In conclusion,
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students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
health
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is one of the responsibilities of the education administration and looking over their
health
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will enhance the educational process since
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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healthy bodies improve the
students
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' cognition and focus.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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