Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some populations think that to decrease the percentage of increased obesity among children the
school
administration has to make
sports
participation indoors or outdoors necessary for each student.
This
essay totally agrees with enforcing the
students
to engage in
sports
activities. First of all, in order to help in lowering the ratio of obesity among
school
students
, schools must link the
students
' performance with their involvement in
sports
activities.
For example
, increase the
sports
subject credits and encourage them by giving bounces if they participate in any
sports
championship.
This
will make the
students
more interested in playing
sports
than ever. Another way to help in
this
issue is
try
Change the verb form
to try
trying
show examples
to find out the preferred sport for each student and
locket
Correct your spelling
lock
show examples
them in
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
club that should be established by the
school
or the Ministry of Education. Second , cooperate with the Ministry of
Health
to help overweight
students
by referring them to appropriate care .
Also
, they must activate the
students
' clinic engagement by evaluating and following up on the
students
'
health
and weight.
Furthermore
, regular sessions must happen over the year to know what struggles face the
students
while
they try to commit to
sports
.
Lastly
, support the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
commitment to a healthy diet by providing the
school
cafeteria with a list of healthy meals.
Also
, provide the
students
with a 20% discount on the cafeteria meals.
Moreover
,
forbbien
Correct your spelling
forbidden
the cafeteria to seal any unhealthy snacks. In conclusion,
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
health
is one of the responsibilities of the education administration and looking over their
health
will enhance the educational process since
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
healthy bodies improve the
students
' cognition and focus.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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