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Writing Samples
Band 7

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#plan #museum #changes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps illustrate changes in the museum between 1998 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
although
Linking Words
rooms
Use synonyms
 changed their places,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 it become a more comfortable and developed place to visit. At the outset, in both years the garden was in the centre of the museum and after 2 decades a new cafe sitting area and 2 fountains were constructed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Permanent
Exhibition
Use synonyms
rooms
Use synonyms
,which were left side of the building disappeared and a new restaurant was built on the top left side.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the area of the temporary
exhibition
Use synonyms
 room doubled and came to the left of the garden. Permanent
Exhibition
Use synonyms
rooms
Use synonyms
 were on the right and in 20 years they increased their place.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in spite of the shop, WC and room for the bags and coats were near the tickets and main door, after 20 years new permanent
exhibition
Use synonyms
rooms
Use synonyms
 were constructed in their place. And WC is located next to the cafe on the top of the garden,
while
Linking Words
 the shop and room for the coats or bags
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 to the left side of the Tickets together.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rooms, exhibition with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rectangular shape
  • central garden area
  • symmetrically arranged
  • expanded galleries
  • visitor flow management
  • temporary exhibition space
  • permanent gallery
  • visitor facilities
  • customer service focus
  • dedicated children's area
  • expanded restroom facilities
  • museum gardens
  • unoccupied outdoor space
  • shift towards long-term exhibits
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