IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

caring for children is probably the most important job in many society. Because of required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?.

#children #job #society #course #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Being upbringing by
parents
Use synonyms
 who are financially prepared and have time for their
children
Use synonyms
 is an important factor for a
child
Use synonyms
 to grow up well,
this
Linking Words
 is difficult for new
parents
Use synonyms
 so I agree that there should be an organization that can help or give advice on raising
children
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, nowadays several
families
Use synonyms
 decide to live without a
child
Use synonyms
 because at
this
Linking Words
 age caring for
children
Use synonyms
 is the most significant part of
parents
Use synonyms
'
life
Use synonyms
 and skills because it leads to
children
Use synonyms
 when they grow up and
parents
Use synonyms
 should forfeit a plethora of time, financial and mental health.
Moreover
Linking Words
, raising
children
Use synonyms
 to grow up with morality and ethics is a difficult task that requires time and patience. Some
parents
Use synonyms
 are unable to teach their
children
Use synonyms
 to understand, which leads to many youth problems,
for example
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 becoming addicted to drugs or juvenile criminals. These problems all come from
families
Use synonyms
 that lack experience and understanding in dealing with
children
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, upbringing kids raising a
child
Use synonyms
 to grow up with a good quality of
life
Use synonyms
 is quite difficult for new
parents
Use synonyms
 who have never had any experience raising
children
Use synonyms
 before;
thus
Linking Words
 it is essential to have some organization with a variety of experience to give consult for
families
Use synonyms
in particular
Linking Words
, physiological aspects, like the foreseen labour, to the psychological and behavioural one.
For instance
Linking Words
, America has a community for new
parents
Use synonyms
 to joy activities which is important to basic childbirth and childcare, including postpartum care for mothers to reduce postpartum depression so many
families
Use synonyms
 can make friends and consult with other
families
Use synonyms
 who may face similar situations.
To sum up
Linking Words
, when
parents
Use synonyms
 understand or cope with
child
Use synonyms
-rearing, it helps the
child
Use synonyms
 grow and have a good quality of
life
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, having someone to consult on various
child
Use synonyms
-rearing problems is part of developing the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 of a
child
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by np.napatping on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: