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Band 6

Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #obesity #children #school #administration #child #sports #activities
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In recent years, there is no denying the fact that
obesity
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 has increased and proliferated among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
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. The
school
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 should contribute by having
administration
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the administration
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 play a role
to mitigate
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in mitigating
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 the highest number of
obesity
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 cases,
this
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 can work by enhancing the
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children to
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children's
show examples
participate
Replace the word
participation
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 in
school
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 festivals and outdoor activities.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that the role of
schools
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 is to concentrate on
children
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's performance.
Obesity
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 among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
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 is an essential topic to discuss and analyze. In my opinion, I consider that the
schools
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 can control rising
obesity
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 and plan to reduce it by many effective methods. 
To begin
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 with, there are vast methods
it
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that
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 can work effectively to reduce the numbers of
obesity
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 among
children
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. First of all,
schools
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 could provide compulsory
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 classes, which will make the
children
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 marked and graded based on their performance.
Furthermore
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,
schools
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 could make competitions among
children
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 that may attract them to participate in it.
In other words
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, if there is a reward for the
children
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 who win in a competition,
this
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 will promote the challenge and motivate
children
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 to participate.
For example
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, my young sister participated in
the
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a
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 running competition at her
school
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, and the winner
will get
Wrong verb form
got
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 a trophy as a reward.  Another point to consider is the necessity of having a society without
obesity
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, which is a significant thing that should focus on
it
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apply
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from the
school
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 side and the parent side alike.
Moreover
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, doubtfully,
children
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 spend most of their time at
school
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, and by
this
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,
schools
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 influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their needs and demands by keeping the sports part of
children
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's lives. Ultimately, providing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 lessons and sessions for
children
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 in the
school
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 should encourage their parents to motivate their
children
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 to participate in those lessons.  In conclusion, despite having different views. I believe that encouraging the
children
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 to participate in the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 sessions at the
school
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 will impact their health in a positive way for the future.
Submitted by walkuwari11 on

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