IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #language #schools #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many pioneers in education state that foreign
languages
 should be taught in
primary
Add an article
the primary
show examples
instead
 of secondary schools. Do the benefits triumph
the
Change preposition
over the
show examples
 inconveniences? We live in an age when many people marry outside of their cultures and even countries, creating mixed families where small
kids
 have already the advantage of not only understanding at
leat
Correct your spelling
least
show examples
 two
languages
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 speaking them.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 these
kids
 have an edge later in life in school and job applications.
Consequently
, it would only be fair if other children had a similar opportunity to study and master a
language
 earlier in life, as
this
 would give their fresh brains a better chance to get a grasp of the
language
's basics, and
therefore
 students in high school who already
already
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 on their plates will not have the burden to dive into newer subjects. Others would argue that making primary
kids
 study two
languages
 at once would
discipate
Correct your spelling
discipline
 their focus, which would lead them to not mastering any
language
 at all. One reason behind
this
 is the disparities that exist between the two
languages
, whether it might be grammatically or orthographically,
this
 can result in mixing the rules and eventually not getting a hold of any
language
.
Nevertheless
, teaching young
kids
 a second
language
 at a rate and in manners that are adapted to their level of cognition, can only be beneficial to them.
Submitted by amale.sefiani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Brain plasticity
  • Multicultural awareness
  • Curriculum
  • Globalization
  • Proficiency
  • Linguistic skills
  • Academic performance
  • Mother tongue
  • Bilingualism
  • Foreign language acquisition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: