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Writing Samples
Band 4

eople nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

#eople #reason #effects #individuals #people
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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. 
It is undeniable that using technology has become an essential part of our life. One of the main causes of less sleep is using technology.
Also
Linking Words
, spending
time
Use synonyms
 on social media negatively affects the quality and duration of sleep.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 experience sleep
deficit
Fix the agreement mistake
deficits
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. The second cause that might be noted, in my view, is
busy
Add an article
a busy
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 lifestyle. Modern
people
Use synonyms
 have a busy schedule, with more
time
Use synonyms
 spent on work and personal matters, which leads to less sleep
time
Use synonyms
. The first cause mentioned above has led to
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 too much
time
Use synonyms
 on social media, reducing their productivity. That all provoked
that
Correct word choice
apply
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people
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
to be
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 psychologically dependent on technology and social media and contributed to social psychological dependence develops, and
people
Use synonyms
 feel uncomfortable in real life.Another problem that follows is that
people
Use synonyms
 get tired from overwork. One of the
consequence
Change to a plural noun
consequences
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 of
this
Linking Words
 is working night shifts, early classes, or long work hours can lead to a shortened sleep schedule.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays have many opportunities and entertainment
such
Linking Words
 as movies, games, and hobbies that affect a person's ability to sleep late. Having weighed everything up, we can conclude that balancing work and sleep is essential for health. In the near future,
people
Use synonyms
 might prioritize rest more, and we should be ready for the benefits and challenges
this
Linking Words
 shift brings.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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