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Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.
#maps #show #area #town #norbiton #future #development #site
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The
map
Use synonyms
 provides key information about
planned
Add an article
the planned
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 future development of
industrial
Add an article
the industrial
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area
Use synonyms
 in Norbiton. 
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the
map
Use synonyms
 that huge
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
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 will be made in the future
map
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. 
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, there is a new bridge above the river which extends the
area
Use synonyms
 to the North with huge new housing buildings.
As well as
Linking Words
 the west
area
Use synonyms
, there will be a new
extention
Correct your spelling
extension
 to the road
surrounds
Wrong verb form
surrounded
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 by two new residential
Use synonyms
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
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. Down to the south, they plan to have
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 roundabout and
in
Change preposition
on
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 the left of the
map
Use synonyms
 huge shopping
area
Use synonyms
 will built.
Huge
Correct article usage
A huge
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 medical center to the right corner will be constructed. In terms of
East
Correct article usage
the East
show examples
Use synonyms
area
Add a comma
area,
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 there is
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 development, the town planned to build
immense
Correct article usage
an immense
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 playground
area
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
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 the north side. There will be three residents
onew
Correct your spelling
one
 of them in front of
playground
Add an article
the playground
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, and the other will be
aroung
Correct your spelling
around
 the inlet of the playground.
At the end
Linking Words
 of
East
Correct article usage
the East
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 side, the factory reconstructed
to
Change preposition
apply
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the school.
Submitted by jo on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words map, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • development
  • infrastructure
  • manufacturing
  • facilities
  • transition
  • planning
  • commercial
  • residential
  • renovation
  • urban planning
  • sustainability
  • environmental impact
  • local economy
  • rejuvenation
  • construction
  • modernization
  • accessibility
  • demolition
  • gentrification
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