IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

#world #people #cities #areas #populations #countryside #development
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In the contemporary world, many
people
 are moving from rural
areas
 of the country to urban
areas
 in search of better job opportunities and living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
.
As a result
 of
this
 migration,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in the suburb has decreased. I think that it is a negative
development
 and in the following paragraphs, I shall explain my reasons for
this
 belief. On the one hand, it is widely believed that
movement
Correct article usage
the movement
show examples
 of
people
 from
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
areas
 to developed
areas
 is a negative
development
 for the following reasons.
Firstly
,
cities
 are becoming
over crowded
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
show examples
. Nowadays, many
people
 can not afford rental apartment units because supply is less than demand. Many
people
 are taking
advantages
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advantage
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 of
this
 opportunity to earn extra income.
Secondly
,
people
 are forced to live in small communities where
infrastructure
Correct article usage
the infrastructure
show examples
 is underdeveloped.
As a consequence
,
people
 have moved
toword
Correct your spelling
toward
 a negative
development
instead
 of a positive growth.
On the other hand
, many individuals
states
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state
show examples
 that it is a positive
development
 because their children can have access to a better society and education. First and foremost, individuals who are coming from rural
aeas
Correct your spelling
areas
 to work in
cities
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are spending thousands of
dollar
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dollars
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 on transportation.
For example
, every year millions of
dollar
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dollars
show examples
 are
spend
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spent
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 on transportation to reach their destination of work. Many families are moving from their current
location
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locations
show examples
 to new
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
 their work to save extra money for their families.
To conclude
, it is a negative
development
 because
cities
 are becoming
over crowded
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
show examples
 and rents are increasing
due to
 supply and demand
issue
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issues
show examples
.
Whereas
 many
people
 think that it
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
positive
development
 as
people
 can save money if they
moved
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 from rural
areas
 to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
cities
a city
show examples
cities
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Amenities
  • Economic prospects
  • Overcrowding
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Agricultural abandonment
  • Cultural diversity
  • Innovation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Family ties
  • Infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Rural revitalization
What to do next:
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