IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

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In the contemporary world, many
people
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 are moving from rural
areas
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 of the country to urban
areas
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 in search of better job opportunities and living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
.
As a result
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 of
this
Linking Words
 migration,
population
Add an article
the population
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 in the suburb has decreased. I think that it is a negative
development
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 and in the following paragraphs, I shall explain my reasons for
this
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 belief. On the one hand, it is widely believed that
movement
Correct article usage
the movement
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 of
people
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 from
under developed
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underdeveloped
show examples
areas
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 to developed
areas
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 is a negative
development
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 for the following reasons.
Firstly
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,
cities
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 are becoming
over crowded
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overcrowded
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. Nowadays, many
people
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 can not afford rental apartment units because supply is less than demand. Many
people
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 are taking
advantages
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advantage
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 of
this
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 opportunity to earn extra income.
Secondly
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,
people
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 are forced to live in small communities where
infrastructure
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the infrastructure
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 is underdeveloped.
As a consequence
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,
people
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 have moved
toword
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toward
 a negative
development
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instead
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 of a positive growth.
On the other hand
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, many individuals
states
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state
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 that it is a positive
development
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 because their children can have access to a better society and education. First and foremost, individuals who are coming from rural
aeas
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areas
 to work in
cities
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are spending thousands of
dollar
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dollars
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 on transportation.
For example
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, every year millions of
dollar
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dollars
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 are
spend
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spent
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 on transportation to reach their destination of work. Many families are moving from their current
location
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locations
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 to new
location
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locations
show examples
 their work to save extra money for their families.
To conclude
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, it is a negative
development
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 because
cities
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 are becoming
over crowded
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
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 and rents are increasing
due to
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 supply and demand
issue
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issues
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.
Whereas
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 many
people
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 think that it
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
positive
development
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 as
people
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 can save money if they
moved
Wrong verb form
move
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 from rural
areas
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 to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
cities
a city
show examples
cities
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Amenities
  • Economic prospects
  • Overcrowding
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Agricultural abandonment
  • Cultural diversity
  • Innovation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Family ties
  • Infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Rural revitalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: