IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 above
Use synonyms
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows the estimated world
illiteracy
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
region and by gender for the
last
Linking Words
 year.
while
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 have the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 of
illiteracy
Use synonyms
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it's quite the opposite, I consider that
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 have the highest rates of
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 compared to
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 the
chart
Use synonyms
 shows different rates in every region. In South Asia
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 have the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 of
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 in all
Use synonyms
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
show examples
 reaching up to 60%,
while
Linking Words
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 have much lower
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 reaching more than 30%. In Arab
states
Add a comma
states,
show examples
 the second highest
rate
Use synonyms
female
Change preposition
of female
show examples
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 reaches up to 50%, at the same time male
illiteracy
Use synonyms
reach
Verb problem
is
show examples
 lower than
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
female
Change preposition
of female
show examples
 with almost 30%. In sub-Saharan Africa the third highest
rate
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 with the
rate
Use synonyms
 going up to 50% whilst
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30%. It's noticeable that the
rate
Use synonyms
 decreases when it comes to Latin American/ Caribbean and developed countries with the
rate
Use synonyms
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
present
 between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and female
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
noticeably close.
To sum up
Linking Words
, some people may have different opinions regarding the
chart
Use synonyms
, but I believe that
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 is a huge issue and
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 immediate attention.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, illiteracy, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: