In some cultures, marriage and having children is viewed as the main purpose in a person’s life. In other societies, having a good career and income is what is seen as success. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
era, a happy relationship and having children
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the
principle
Correct your spelling
principal
show examples
aim
Fix the agreement mistake
aims
show examples
of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
lives in various societies
while
Linking Words
others are
thaught
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
that
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
an excellent academic records
Correct the article-noun agreement
excellent academic records
an excellent academic record
show examples
and financial
growth
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
seen as success. I have discussed several things for both
scenario
Change to a plural noun
scenarios
show examples
in
ensuing
Correct article usage
the ensuing
show examples
paragraphs with suitable examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
with, education plays a crucial role
to develop
Change preposition
in developing
show examples
an individual's
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
personal
growth
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, rural areas of any city have not been developed by the government and they are doing some basic work so that marriage and having a child is
the
Change the word
their
show examples
main purpose
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
After
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
they do not know
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how to
create
Verb problem
make
show examples
their child's life more beautiful.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, personal goals are not focused
by
Change preposition
on by
show examples
them
rather
Correct word choice
but rather
show examples
than
Change preposition
on
show examples
family. On the other side, young people are more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
their financial situation as well
personal
Correct word choice
as personal
show examples
growth
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
responsbilitites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
are completed by
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
and
also
Linking Words
looking
Verb problem
doing
show examples
some extra work independently.
Consequently
Linking Words
, a family is not facing any critical
situaion
Correct your spelling
situation
according to
Linking Words
money matters.
For instance
Linking Words
, a partner is always searching for
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
stable income and
growth
Use synonyms
rathen
Correct your spelling
rather
than talking about children's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
at
very
Correct article usage
the very
show examples
first
metting
Correct your spelling
meeting
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
scenario is most relevant to the latest time. After all, parents
has had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
an idea about their
childrens'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
and it would be more helpful to develop their career as well.
Submitted by patelrinkesh696 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: