An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

While

Linking Words

we are facing a huge development in

Use synonyms

surgeries

Change the noun form

surgery

show examples

methods, there are some

people

Use synonyms

who prefer taking cosmetic

surgeries

Use synonyms

in aim to change their

looking

Change the form of the verb

look

show examples

. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

type of

Use synonyms

operations

Fix the agreement mistake

operation

show examples

has more negative effects on normal

people

Use synonyms

who do not need it. and it has some

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

effects on

people

Use synonyms

who their

Correct pronoun usage

whose

show examples

appearance is already damaged. On the one hand, normal

people

Use synonyms

may

face

Use synonyms

addiction as a

consequnce

Correct your spelling

consequence

of taking these

surgeries

Use synonyms

. Taking cosmetic

operations

Use synonyms

will create some

extra-beauty

Correct your spelling

extra beauty

show examples

modren

Correct your spelling

modern

people

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, they will like their new

looking

Replace the word

look

show examples

and they will be

obssesed

Correct your spelling

obsessed

Change preposition

with

show examples

their beauty.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they will be so much addicted

Change preposition

show examples

enhancing their own looking. Correspondingly, they will spend much more money in

hope

Correct article usage

the hope

show examples

to be

Change preposition

of being

show examples

more beautiful. Taking those many additional

surgeries

Use synonyms

may impact the

face

Use synonyms

bone

Use synonyms

structure negatively by damaging the

bone

Use synonyms

as a consequence

Linking Words

of moving the

face

Use synonyms

skeleton more than once.

On the other hand

Linking Words

. Abnormal

people

Use synonyms

who have incorrect

bone

Use synonyms

posture in their own

face

Use synonyms

or body will

Verb problem

benefit

show examples

so much

benefited

Verb problem

apply

show examples

from cosmetic

operations

Use synonyms

. They really need to correct these wrong

bone

Use synonyms

postures to be the same as ordinary

people

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, they will be so much happier and will have an easier life by limiting the depression that the

abnormal looking

Add a hyphen

abnormal-looking

show examples

cause it. governments always provide

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

this person

these people

show examples

people

Use synonyms

the

Add the preposition

with the

show examples

money that they need to do these

surgeries

Use synonyms

in aim to enhance their life and appearance.

To conclude

Linking Words

, cosmetic

operations

Use synonyms

will be extremely useful to normal

people

Use synonyms

meanwhile it derives

neagtive

Correct your spelling

negative

effects on normal

people

Use synonyms

who

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

need it.

abdullahowalziThu Dec 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cosmetic surgery
Appearance
Improvement
Societal pressure
Media influence
Self-confidence
Self-esteem
Physical imperfections
Defects
Career
Professional reasons
Advancements
Medical technology
Accessibility
Negative
Psychological impacts
Realistic expectations

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Governments should focus their spending on public sevices rather than on the arts (eg. music and painting) To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is recommended that most governments should pay more attention to the expenditure on public amenities instead of spending on music and painting. It is the opinion of this writer that the expense of services in public can improve the living standard and have more satisfaction from residents.
7
band
Several individuals believe that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Several individuals believe that those who work a job early and keep going have more opportunities to achieve a satisfying career life than those who often change jobs. In my opinion, I totally agree with this statement because of some major reasons which I shall explain in more detail in this essay.
6
band
People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Deciding on a career path early in life and sticking to it is often seen as a way to achieve long-term job satisfaction. However, some believe that frequently changing jobs can lead to a more fulfilling work life. In my opinion, while career stability offers benefits such as security and growth, frequent job changes can also provide valuable experiences and satisfaction, depending on the individual’s preferences and industry.
7
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Over the past few decades, a vast proportion of individuals who are struggling with health problems are attempting alternative medicines and treatment as a replacement for paying a visit to their usual doctors. I vehemently declare this is a negative trend due to the detrimental ramifications, namely immense side effects and people’s lack of in-depth knowledge regarding the usage instruction of alternative drugs and treatments. To commence with, a fundamental demerit of utilizing alternative medication instead of visiting a professional doctor would be the harmful consequences. Whereby, painkillers probably have side effects that are known by professionals such as doctors or surgeons. Nonetheless, a patient could be influenced by threatening side effects. My grandmother, for instance, took a painkiller without visiting her usual doctor, which resulted in insomnia. Furthermore, the safest pattern to use remedies is to not only be aware of the exact dosage the body requires, but also ...
7.5
band
The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Social media has deeply infiltrated everyone’s life and is believed to be replacing our face-to-face interaction. This situation, although advantageous in certain aspects, is generally

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Governments should focus their spending on public sevices rather than on the arts (eg. music and painting) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Several individuals believe that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?