IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, more and more parks and open spaces in cities are being turned into gardens where people can grow fruit and vegetables

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Introduction
In
this
Linking Words
text
Add a comma
text,
show examples
 I should give my opinion about the opening
Use synonyms
parks
Change preposition
of parks
show examples
 and opening spaces in cities.I think that
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
worse
Correct word choice
a bad
show examples
 idea why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will write in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 paragraph.
Body · 1
At the
start
Add a comma
start,
show examples
 I
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
 write about advantages
this
Linking Words
 way.
Body · 2
Firstly
Linking Words
 opening
parks
Use synonyms
 and space
places
Use synonyms
 in the cities gives new
fellings
Correct your spelling
feelings
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
.
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 example if new tourists come to
this
Linking Words
city
Use synonyms
 they can see so much beautiful nature it's trees and flowers in the territory.I think that's will good for
walking
Replace the word
walk
show examples
 in the opening
places
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every weekend maybe with
girlfriend
Correct pronoun usage
my girlfriend
show examples
.
Body · 3
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
 in the
parks
Use synonyms
 grow new trees and that's good for
city
Use synonyms
 oxygen.Because in
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
 lot
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 cities pollution
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
every year.
Body · 4
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 third from my experience
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my
city
Use synonyms
 has 2
parks
Use synonyms
 and
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two
parks
Use synonyms
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 new emotions
an
Correct your spelling
and
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 everything.Fore in the winter
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can take so good views to the park.
An
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 summer
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will
walking
Wrong verb form
walk
show examples
 with friends and will talk about something.At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
night I can sit on the bench and
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
 music.
Body · 5
But
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 idea has some disadvantages.
Body · 6
I think that's
connec
Correct your spelling
connected
 with pollution.Because a lot of young
people
Use synonyms
 don't think about nature.
Yes
Add the punctuation
Yes,
show examples
 that's so
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
important but I think in the new park
will
Correct pronoun usage
there will
show examples
a
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
lot of
bin
Fix the agreement mistake
bins
show examples
.
Body · 7
I have one idea for
this
Linking Words
 problem.It's put cameras and
explain
Change the verb form
explains
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
people's
Change noun form
people
show examples
 about park law.
Body · 8
At the
finish
Add a comma
finish,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can create one opinion about open space
places
Use synonyms
 and
parks
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
The new
Use synonyms
parks
Add a verb
parks are
parks were
show examples
 not so bad because the
parks
Use synonyms
 and open space
places
Use synonyms
 can make
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 better for
people
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and consistently support it throughout the essay with well-elaborated points and examples.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Ensure the main points are fully developed and supported. Add more specific examples or details to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have identified some relevant points about the benefits of parks and open spaces, such as improving city aesthetics and enhancing emotional well-being.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both advantages and disadvantages of turning parks and open spaces into gardens, showing an attempt to balance your argument.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban agriculture
  • Food security
  • Community cohesion
  • Sustainability
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Ecological balance
  • Urban heat island effect
  • Green spaces
  • Recreational space
  • Maintenance costs
  • Fresh produce
  • Social cohesion
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