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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts describe the changes in favourite social media platforms of global Internet users in 2011, 2012, 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts describe the changes in favourite social media platforms of global Internet users in 2011, 2012, 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#changes #favourite #media #platforms #internet #users #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts
shows
Change the verb form
show
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 the changes in 5 different social media platforms of global
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 in 2011, 2012 and 2013. The units
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
are shown
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 in
percentage
Use synonyms
 From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, the favourite social media platforms taken into view are
Facebook
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, Twitter,
Linkedln
Correct your spelling
Linked
, Google+ and
Pinterest
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. We can see that
Facebook
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 had the highest
percentage
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 in 2011, 2012 and 2013 . The minor one is
Pinterest
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 which had the lowest count
percentage
Use synonyms
 in all over the
years
Use synonyms
 .
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Facebook
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 in 2011 had 59% of global
internet
Use synonyms
users
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 , but after 3
years
Use synonyms
Facebook
Use synonyms
 had gradually decreased to 38% ,
while
Linking Words
 Google+ with 5% in 2011 started
incresed
Correct your spelling
increasing
 to 14% in 2013 .
Hence
Linking Words
, Twitter increased from 21% to 25% over the
years
Use synonyms
 ,
also
Linking Words
Linkedln
Correct your spelling
LinkedIn
 increased from 10% to 15% between 2011 and 2013.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the smallest number
percentage
Use synonyms
 of global
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 with 5% in 2011 and increased between 2011 and 2013
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 8% . In conclusion, after these comparisons, we can see that
Facebook
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 placed first position and remained stable over the
years
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 ,
also
Linking Words
Pinterest
Use synonyms
 with
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 count
percentage
Use synonyms
 of global
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by akramkartzhan on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, users, percentage, facebook, pinterest, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media platforms
  • global Internet users
  • popularity
  • increased/decreased
  • market share
  • user preference
  • trends
  • comparison
  • growth/decline
  • emerging platforms
  • established platforms
  • shift
  • survey/report
  • data trends
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