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Band 6.5

The chart below shows results of three Surveys on absenteeism in a particular Europen country in the years 2000,2005,2010.

The chart below shows results of three Surveys on absenteeism in a particular Europen country in the years 2000,2005,2010.
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The bar chart provides data on the reasons for absenteeism from work in a European country in the
years
Use synonyms
 2000,2005 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
llness
Correct your spelling
illness
 consistently remained
cause
Add an article
a cause
the cause
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 of absenteeism across the three
years
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 stress was the least factor. Meanwhile, other reasons including family responsibilities and unexpected problems underwent moderate fluctuations over the period. In detail, 45% of
responds
Replace the word
respondents
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 did not go to work
due to
Linking Words
 illness in 2000 and in 2005 it was more than in 2010, 40% and 35% respectively. Stress was the lowest segment with about 6% in 2000 before the percentage declined to 5% by 2005. But, it jumped nearly 3 times 5
years
Use synonyms
 later. Because of personal needs, 15% of employees were absent in the beginning and the rate was more than in 2010, around 25 % and 20%.
On
Change preposition
In
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 contrast, the point of family responsibilities for nonattendance at the workplace declined from approximately 28% in 2000 to roughly 23% and it remained unchanged both
years
Use synonyms
. In terms of unexpected problems
such
Linking Words
 as weather,
transport
Correct word choice
and transport
show examples
 issues, only 10 % of
crowd
Correct article usage
the crowd
show examples
 did not attend to their jobs in 2000. The percentage doubled sharply to about 17% in 2005 and it stayed
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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