Some believe technology has made our live too complex and the solution is to lead a smipler life without technology . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Technology
is no doubt for making our Use synonyms
live
easier Replace the word
lives
as well as
more complex than before. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will reveal the reason why we should Linking Words
avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
technology
as far as possible Use synonyms
otherwise
using it wisely.
Take Linking Words
Use synonyms
smartphone
, Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
for example
, as a part of Linking Words
Use synonyms
technology
of Add an article
the technology
information
. Use synonyms
People
around the world Use synonyms
is
more engaged when Wrong verb form
were
smartphone
was invented. The connection of Use synonyms
people
, Use synonyms
however
, not only makes them Linking Words
be
able to talk to or Unnecessary verb
apply
to
share Fix the infinitive
apply
information
Use synonyms
each
otherChange preposition
with each
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
increases the tension between them in both the digital space and the Linking Words
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
situation
. The latter, Fix the agreement mistake
situations
in particular
, is caused by the cultural disparity that Linking Words
people
may have their own cultural Use synonyms
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
in
which will be collided by Change preposition
apply
Use synonyms
smartphone
through social media Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
platform
and Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
therefore
Linking Words
creates
tension.
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
In addition
, the Linking Words
smartphone
Use synonyms
alghorithm
makes users glued Correct your spelling
algorithm
in
their Change preposition
to
screen
. More and more Fix the agreement mistake
screens
people
Use synonyms
spends
their time on the screen, Change the verb form
spend
they
will likely be alienated from their real social life. It is absolutely Correct word choice
and they
disadvantage
of Correct article usage
a disadvantage
the
Correct article usage
apply
information
Use synonyms
technology
that many Use synonyms
people
may Use synonyms
do
not realise.
In conclusion, we should be more aware that any modern product Unnecessary verb
apply
such
as the Linking Words
technology
of Use synonyms
information
is not always beneficial for human Use synonyms
being
. Fix the agreement mistake
beings
Therefore
, we have to normalise the lifestyle without Linking Words
technology
for the longevity and the quality of life.Use synonyms
Submitted by anwarkur20 on
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task achievement
Clarify your position on the topic. It's important to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of living a simpler life without technology.
task achievement
Develop your points more fully. While you have mentioned important aspects, providing more detailed explanations can enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Creating clearer links between your points will improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Refine the thesis statement to make it clearer and more aligned with the body paragraphs. A strong thesis can guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
The essay raises an intriguing and relevant example of smartphones, clearly illustrating how technology can complicate our lives.
coherence cohesion
You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the essay well.
task achievement
The discussion about cultural disparity and social media is an interesting angle, providing depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.