The younger generation is mainly responsible for the latest technologycal developments. How far do you agree?

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Nowadays is widely accepted that the speed of
technologycal develpments
Correct your spelling
technological development

The words technologycal develpments seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

is
due to
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the aim of
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest

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generations
of being
Change preposition
to be

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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"on the top of the wave", regarding the latest
technologycal
Correct your spelling
technology

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trends. In my opinion, despite the fact that the youngest people called the "Y" and "Z"
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations

It seems that generation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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lead those paths, in
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

era most of the population is in some way linked with some sort of technology. In
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay
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essay,

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I will defend my opinion
delivering
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by delivering

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some examples. Take
for instance
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the fast advances in communications. Today most of the worldwide population uses for its calls a mobile phone, regardless
their
Change preposition
of their

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age or social position.
Moreover
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, many people in their sixties, seventies or even above,
use
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means

It seems that mean may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of communication to chat with their relatives, using platforms like the social media "Facebook", "Whatsapp"
or
Correct word choice
and

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so on. In my personal experience, when I was spending a gap year in New Zealand in 2007, huge was my surprise when my mother, who was never a big fan of the
use
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of technology, created
herself
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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an account to chat with me. Another example is the
use
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of platforms to operate remotely like the ones
ofered
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offered

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by banks, better known as "home banking". No matter how old are you, currently you may need to create a profile in order to operate
on line
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online

The word on line seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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or
trhough
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through

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an app if you need to make financial transactions. Another clear example of the changes in technology that are not directly linked with the
use
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of them for the youngest is the case of the
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sign
Replace the word
signing

The word sign doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of legal documents using digital platforms. At the beginning of the year, my husband and I opened an account overseas to operate in the stock market. We were quite surprised and, I should
addmited
Correct your spelling
admit
admitted

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a little bit
scaried
Correct your spelling
scared
scary
scarred

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too
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker when. Consider removing the comma.

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when we had to
sign
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

our contract with the bank via "Docu
Sign
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

",a
platfrom
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platform

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that currently is openly accepted to
sign
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

not only legal documents
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
many
Correct your spelling
any

The word many doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds

The singular countable noun kind follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of minor files as well. In conclusion, despite the fact that
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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generations may look like they lead the speed of the
technologycal
Correct your spelling
technological

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changes that we witness today, I strongly believe that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a trend that does not up on them
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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but
cames
Correct your spelling
comes

The word cames doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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with the characteristics of a new era of information, and
consequently
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, is part of the nature of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

days.
Submitted by laura.trevino.ar on

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task response
Be consistent in addressing the topic directly throughout the essay. Make sure each paragraph ties back to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
More clearly connect your points to each other and to the thesis statement. It would enhance logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve sentence fluency with better transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task response
The essay presents multiple examples to support the main argument, which enriches the content and makes the points more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a clear outline and the conclusion effectively sums up the argument, providing a satisfactory closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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