IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The younger generation is mainly responsible for the latest technologycal developments. How far do you agree?

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Nowadays is widely accepted that the speed of
technologycal develpments
Correct your spelling
technological development
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the aim of
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
 generations
of being
Change preposition
to be
show examples
 "on the top of the wave", regarding the latest
technologycal
Correct your spelling
technology
 trends. In my opinion, despite the fact that the youngest people called the "Y" and "Z"
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 lead those paths, in
this
Linking Words
 era most of the population is in some way linked with some sort of technology. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will defend my opinion
delivering
Change preposition
by delivering
show examples
 some examples. Take
for instance
Linking Words
 the fast advances in communications. Today most of the worldwide population uses for its calls a mobile phone, regardless
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 age or social position.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many people in their sixties, seventies or even above,
use
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of communication to chat with their relatives, using platforms like the social media "Facebook", "Whatsapp"
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 so on. In my personal experience, when I was spending a gap year in New Zealand in 2007, huge was my surprise when my mother, who was never a big fan of the
use
Use synonyms
 of technology, created
herself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
an account to chat with me. Another example is the
use
Use synonyms
 of platforms to operate remotely like the ones
ofered
Correct your spelling
offered
 by banks, better known as "home banking". No matter how old are you, currently you may need to create a profile in order to operate
on line
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
 or
trhough
Correct your spelling
through
 an app if you need to make financial transactions. Another clear example of the changes in technology that are not directly linked with the
use
Use synonyms
 of them for the youngest is the case of the
Use synonyms
sign
Replace the word
signing
show examples
 of legal documents using digital platforms. At the beginning of the year, my husband and I opened an account overseas to operate in the stock market. We were quite surprised and, I should
addmited
Correct your spelling
admit
admitted
 a little bit
scaried
Correct your spelling
scared
scary
scarred
 too
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when we had to
sign
Use synonyms
 our contract with the bank via "Docu
Sign
Use synonyms
",a
platfrom
Correct your spelling
platform
 that currently is openly accepted to
sign
Use synonyms
 not only legal documents
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of minor files as well. In conclusion, despite the fact that
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
 generations may look like they lead the speed of the
technologycal
Correct your spelling
technological
 changes that we witness today, I strongly believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a trend that does not up on them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
cames
Correct your spelling
comes
show examples
 with the characteristics of a new era of information, and
consequently
Linking Words
, is part of the nature of
this
Linking Words
 days.

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task response
Be consistent in addressing the topic directly throughout the essay. Make sure each paragraph ties back to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
More clearly connect your points to each other and to the thesis statement. It would enhance logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve sentence fluency with better transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task response
The essay presents multiple examples to support the main argument, which enriches the content and makes the points more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a clear outline and the conclusion effectively sums up the argument, providing a satisfactory closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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