The increase in the production of consumer goods (food, clothing) results in damage to the natural environment. What is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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Nowadays, it is noticeable that the surge in the production of consumer goods may be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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our planet.
This
Linking Words
essay argues that
this
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phenomenon is caused by a marketing strategy from the manufacturers and suggests that the set up of taxes may be the best solution. It is conspicuous that our modern society showcases an ever-increase in the consumption of diverse products including clothing and all sorts of food.
This
Linking Words
is because companies who lead these sectors use strong marketing
strategy
Fix the agreement mistake
strategies
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in order to attract buyers.Indeed, people tend to acquire things that are often useless, just because they saw a fancy
adertisement
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertisements
.
Push
Wrong verb form
Pushing
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the public to buy everything even if he doesn't need it is ineluctably the engine of many famous firms.
For example
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, it is mundane to witness
that
Correct word choice
apply
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youngsters change every year their mobile phone, out of practical reasons, just to get
the
Correct article usage
a
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brand new one.
However
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, solutions exist to overcome
this
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hurdle.In
this
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regard
Add a comma
regard,
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it is suggested that government may set up taxes on unnecessary commodities aiming to limit their over-consumption.In fact, people, especially young citizens , tend to buy a lot
due to
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a lack of pragmatism.In
this
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regard,skyrocketing the price of
this
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type of merchandise
mayd
Correct your spelling
may
deter every compulsive purchase. the implementation of a new policy by officials is undoubtedly consequential
to protect
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in protecting
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our environment.
For instance
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, the increase in the price of
tobaco
Correct your spelling
tobacco
in Morocco induced a wide range of smokers to stop smoking and in that way, consuming an unnecessary product. In conclusion, the hype established by huge companies in order to
boom
Verb problem
boost
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their sales is the prime cause of
this
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over-consumption
among
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in
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our society.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
, it can be solved through governmental policy
such
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as taxes.
Submitted by namoisma on

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coherence cohesion
Consider using connecting phrases more frequently to enhance the logical flow between your paragraphs. This will aid the reader in understanding the relationship between your points.
task achievement
Some words in the essay are used incorrect or are awkwardly placed. For instance: 'ineluctably' and 'mayd'. Focus on revising your word choice and checking for typographical errors to align your language with Task Response consistently.
task achievement
Clear and concise examples are helpful to support your main ideas, such as those concerning government taxes. Aim for consistency in tone and scope when providing evidence in your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion present a cohesive overview of your argument, effectively framing the discussion around the environmental impact of consumer goods.
task achievement
Your inclusion of examples, particularly regarding taxation in Morocco, bolsters your argument effectively, adding depth to your ideas.
task achievement
Overall, the essay provides a respectable insight and offers potential solutions to the stated problem, showing a clear understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural resources
  • habitat destruction
  • biodiversity
  • waste generation
  • pollutants
  • fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • overconsumption
  • planned obsolescence
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • recycling
  • environmental regulations
  • incentives
  • ecological footprint
  • consumer awareness
  • eco-friendly
  • green technologies
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