IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Chart about on average dioxide emission per person 1967-2007 among these countries: the United Kingdom,Sweden,Italy and Portugal.

#dioxide #emission #person #countries #kingdom #sweden
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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chart below gives us
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information on average
dioxide
 emission per person
1967
Change preposition
from 1967
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-
Change preposition
to
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2007 among these countries: the United
Kingdom
,Sweden,Italy and Portugal.
According to
 the graph in
Sweden
Add a comma
Sweden,
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 it touched the highest level in 1977 nearly by 10
point
Change to a plural noun
points
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while
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
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this
 index was
the
Change the article
apply
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part of
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
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declining
Replace the word
decline
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.
Then
 unfortunately
this
 measure had
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
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 trend as it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased sharply from 10 to nearly 7 in 1967.It is worthwhile to notice that in Italy average emissions of carbon
dioxide
 gradually increased between 1967 to 2007 as it
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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jumped from 4 to almost 8 index.In the United
Kingdom
 emissions of carbon
dioxide
 slowly
diping
Correct your spelling
dipping
.As we can see in the graph it depicted 11
point
Change to a plural noun
points
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 in 1967 and roughly 9 in 2007. Generally speaking in spite of gradually
deterioriating
Correct your spelling
deteriorating
 United
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
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 had the lead by emissions of carbon
dioxide
9
Change preposition
at 9
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point
Change to a plural noun
points
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 in 2007
while
 Portugal and Sweden had reached the nadir at that time by showing nearly 5
index
Change to a plural noun
indexes
show examples
.
Submitted by nurymbetova.aray on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs that tackle specific points sequentially, such as an introduction, body, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Ensure ideas are clear and comprehensive by elaborating more on trends and comparisons between the countries.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific data examples to strengthen your points. Using exact numbers when discussing trends could provide a clearer picture.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that sets the context for the data analysis.
Task Achievement
The essay includes relevant data from different countries represented in the graph, showcasing attempts to fulfill the task requirements.
Task Achievement
There is an appropriate effort to note important trends such as increases and decreases in the data over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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