Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #pets #children

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Certain people

claimed

Wrong verb form

claim

show examples

that domestic

animals

Use synonyms

could have

Wrong verb form

can be

show examples

dangers

Replace the word

dangerous

show examples

and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

Use synonyms

's health level.

However

Linking Words

, I firmly agree with those who think that those

animals

Use synonyms

would have some advantages for adolescents. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand,I

conceade

Correct your spelling

concede

conclude

that some domestic

animls

Correct your spelling

animals

may still have their wild behaviours

such

Linking Words

as dogs or cats.

This

Linking Words

may bring several medical issues like

bitting

Correct your spelling

biting

show examples

or barking.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, by these treats, some

children

Use synonyms

would

scare

Wrong verb form

be scared

show examples

of them and

this

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

may have negative effects on

children

Use synonyms

and

animals

Use synonyms

both.

For example

Linking Words

, several

children

Use synonyms

do not tend to

build

Verb problem

apply

show examples

communication

Replace the word

communicate

show examples

with

pets

Use synonyms

and even bother them.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, domestic

animals

Use synonyms

may enhance their wild and negative

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

due to

Linking Words

their instinct in order to defend themselves.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is proved that

pets

Use synonyms

could have positive impacts on

pychological

Correct your spelling

psychological

issues related to

children

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

Autisem

Correct your spelling

autism

According to

Linking Words

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

children

Use synonyms

suffering from

Autisem

Correct your spelling

autism

seem to rely on

pets

Use synonyms

easy

Change the word

easily

show examples

and

this

Linking Words

may help them to communicate better. By learning how to make

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

,domestic

animals

Use synonyms

seem to prevent

lonlliness

Correct your spelling

loneliness

children

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

. those

animals

Use synonyms

could be effective in sharing feelings and

strength

Replace the word

strengthening

show examples

the level of empathy

Change preposition

show examples

children

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, by keeping

pets

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

would learn how to respect

animals

Use synonyms

' rights and never

Add a missing verb

be violence

show examples

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

to them. I think

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

would be the most

benefitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

point for having domestic

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

for adolescents. All being said,

although

Linking Words

pets

Use synonyms

are said to

have

Verb problem

pose

show examples

hazards for

children

Use synonyms

and

threat

Replace the word

threaten

show examples

their health, I wholeheartedly believe that domestic

animals

Use synonyms

may have positive effects on

communicating

Replace the word

communication

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

would learn how to obey

animal's

Change noun form

animal

show examples

rights. .

Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on Sat Dec 21 2024

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clarity

Improve clarity by simplifying some sentences and correcting grammatical errors for better comprehension.

example-usage

Provide more specific examples to support the arguments for each viewpoint.

structure

The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, maintaining a structured layout.

balanced-discussion

Attempts to discuss both views, highlighting perceived dangers and benefits of pets to children.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

264 words

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Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks overweigh the disadvantages?

Some believe that the development of technology and improved software allow us to translate between language automatically. Therefor, it is not necessary to learn foreign languages any more. Do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free . do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to musuems outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people prefer to read e-book rather than paper books. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause for libraries?

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people lives. Other think that adults life brings more happiest, in spite of great responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinionp