Some people argue that all young people should be required to attend full time school until they are at least 18 years old. What extent do you argee or disagree

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Some
people
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argue that all young
people
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should be required to attend
full
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full-time
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time
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school
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until they are at least 18 years old.
While
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I agree that attending
full
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full-time
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time
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school
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can bring some benefits , I believe that young
people
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have several better
choices
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for their
education
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On the one hand, the young select to study
full
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full-time
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time
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school
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for many benefits,
Firstly
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, when they focus on
study
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studying
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, they can get better academic performance.
This
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can help them to have more
choices
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for higher
education
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.
Secondly
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, attending
full
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full-time
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time
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school
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can help students to learn many skills like
learship
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leadership
skills ,
communication
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and communication
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skills which help students build
self confidence
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self-confidence
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On the other hand
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, the young can have several better
choices
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for their
education
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. One choice is that they can select
to homeschooling
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homeschool
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, they can have more
time
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spend
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to spend
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on their hobbies and
do
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apply
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exercise to improve their physical health.
Additionally
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, they can choose to work at
school
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and work
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part-time
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part
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part-time
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time
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at the same
time
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,
This
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can help them
to
Verb problem
apply
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earn money to support
parents
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their parents
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to reduce financial burdens and they will feel more independent In conclusion, young
people
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attending
full
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full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
school
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until they are at least 18 years old can bring some benefits ,there are several better
choices
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for their
education
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task achievement
The essay does a decent job in presenting both sides of the argument. To enhance the Task Response score further, consider offering more specific examples or research findings to support your points. Additionally, fully explaining why one side may be more beneficial than the other could improve the score.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear with an introduction and conclusion present. However, you can improve coherence by using more varied transition words and phrases to link the sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction efficiently outlines both a thesis and a counter-thesis, setting the stage for a balanced argument, demonstrating a strong start to the essay.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents contrasting views on the topic, reflecting a balanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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