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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe that people are naturally born as leaders while others feel that leadership skills can develop. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#believe #people #leaders #leadership #skills
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Leadership requires a lot of skills for those who want to guide people.
While
 some believe that these are innate features, I
stay
Verb problem
agree
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 with
others
 who think that they are mostly gained
by
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through
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 time and practice.
According to
 some, the greatest leaders are born with specific traits which are shown from the earliest days of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Indeed, unwavering captains usually possess
aptitude
Add an article
an aptitude
the aptitude
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 for communication, confidence and
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
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 to stay calm even under the biggest pressure. Undoubtedly, those who could become excellent leaders in the future are recognisable from a school desk, as they are remarkable and catch one's eye.
However
, in most
cases
Add a comma
cases,
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 it is not as natural as it seems.
Others
, and so do I, are quite sure that the best ones nurture their skills from the very moment of realisation that they want to guide people. Leadership is not only about being popular and seen
,
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apply
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 but more
to be
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about being
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 a bridge and a motivator for
others
. It requires a lot of patience and psychological knowledge which can be gained only by sitting still
and
Correct word choice
apply
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listening to
others
 and finding missing pieces for their development. One should be loud by using his silence and
for
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to
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 whom
others
 are looking up, so they
also
 could become better versions of themselves. In conclusion,
it is clear that
 good leaders must be proficient in their areas. Rather than think that leading skills are inherited, I would think like
others
 that it is something that should be cultivated by ourselves as time goes by.
Submitted by terike555 on

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Task Response
Enhance your essay with more specific examples to better illustrate your points. This will strengthen your argumentation and give more depth to your discussion.
Coherence
Be mindful of coherence, especially in paragraphs. Ensure each sentence clearly ties back to the central idea of the paragraph to maintain a clear thread throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are effective, consider creating a stronger alignment between your body paragraphs and these sections by summarizing the main ideas again in conclusion.
Introduction
Your introduction clearly states your position, setting a clear framework for the essay.
Content and Argumentation
You effectively presented both views on the topic and provided your stance with well-explained reasoning.
Conclusion
The conclusion neatly summarizes your opinion and the overall discussion, giving the essay a clear finality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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