IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#group #students #classroom #home
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In the current era, it is widely acknowledged among a high number of people that joining
in
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apply
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a class to study with other pupils is better than training online. Since I am
fan
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a fan
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on
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of
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 teamwork, I completely agree with that point of view. In the following, both sides will be discussed.
To begin
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 with, there is a pervasive belief that studying in a group has numerous advantages. Many students would like to participate in a classroom and
work
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 with others
beacuse
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because
 they are aware of
benefits
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the benefits
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 of teamwork. They have experienced a sense of belonging to a group.
Further
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, when individuals have a chance to
being
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be
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 in a team, they can exchange information with each
others
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other
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 and use someone
elses
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else
else's
 experiences.
Hence
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, not only does the
work
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loud
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apply
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increase among
coallegues
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colleagues
colleges
, but they
also
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 have revealed
much
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many
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 more successes in order to
achiving
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achieve
 their aims.
On the other hand
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, learning alone has
demostrated
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demonstrated
less
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fewer
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 benefits. When it comes to
studing
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studying
 online, I rather say
studing
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studying
 at
home
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lessen
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lessens
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 concentration on the
work
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.
Therefore
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, learning at
home
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 can be considered as a kind of distraction
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of the low quality of studying.
For example
Linking Words
, if a pupil is supposed to take an exam online, they will have to focus on the questions.
However
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, making noise at
home
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 does not allow them to concentrate.
In addition
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, online education
need
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needs
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 to have a strong connection.
To conclude
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, the spite of the fact that some
population
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populations
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 prefer learning with
a
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apply
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teamwork, others would rather
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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learn at
home
Use synonyms
 online. I strongly reaffirm I like being a part of a
work
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 to obtain
the
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apply
show examples
better results.
Submitted by mziarati2 on

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task achievement
You provide a clear opinion on the topic and attempt to support it with reasons, which is great. However, ensure that your arguments are more balanced by considering the opposing viewpoint in more depth, even if you disagree with it.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main point or theme, and ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Enhance your support for the main points by including more specific examples or evidence. For instance, personal experiences or statistical data can make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, beginning with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs, and concluding with a final opinion.
task achievement
You successfully present your opinion and support it with points related to the benefits of studying in a classroom environment.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of studying in different environments.
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