IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #country #environment
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There has been an ongoing debate as to whether
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 can be successful in both economic and
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 fields or
it
Correct word choice
if it
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 is impossible.
While
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 there are plenty of reasons why some
people
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 are against it, I am in
favor
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favour
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 of that
country
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 can achieve success regarding economically and environmentally. It has to be acknowledged that there are a number of reasons why opponents argue
to
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for
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 that idea. One of which is that initial costs would be high. To improve something,
money
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 is required.
Similarly
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, if a particular
country
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 is going to improve the quality of
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environment
Add an article
the environment
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, it should create green parks, places, or energy, since by those, the
country
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 can become environmentally friendly. All of them needed to spend
money
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by
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on
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 the budget of the
country
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. At
this
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 point, the
country
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 cannot be financially independent, since they spend
money
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.
Additionally
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, they might put residents in a high amount of taxes.
As a result
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, conflicts might arise, and even the
country
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 might face
bankrupt
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bankruptcy
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. Because of rising taxes, the inhabitants in that
country
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 might become poor and cannot resist anymore and may make conflicts.
On the other hand
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, if a
country
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 spends all its
money
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to
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on
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 the
environment
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, it might
also
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 become poor.
Therefore
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, many
people
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 do not think a
country
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 can manage those equally.
However
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, I do believe that it is possible
work
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to work
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 if both residents and the government work together. First and foremost,
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country
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the country
a country
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 should research
on
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apply
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methods which would be helpful to it and seek individuals who can invent new ideas which serve
enhancement
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to enhancement
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 of
environment
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. In
this
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 way, not only
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country
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the country
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 can be environmentally friendly, but
also
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 it covers the growth of
economy
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the economy
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,
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apply
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 since those
people
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 can explore new ideas and earn
money
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.
Furthermore
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, if countries
converted
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convert
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 danger-free their
environment
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, they might attract tourists, as
people
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 want to see places which have fresh air and environmentally friendly sites
,
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apply
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 because they can relax and those places might be useful to their health, in some perspective. Through tourism,
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country
Add an article
the country
a country
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 can
also
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 make
money
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. In conclusion,
although
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 there are many opponents who doubt countries can be financially and environmentally independent, I am adamantly inclined that it is possible.
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task achievement
Consider integrating specific examples that are clearer and more relevant to support your arguments. This will help strengthen your essay further and enhance your task response score.
coherence cohesion
Ensuring more seamless transitions between ideas and paragraphs can enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the central topic and presents both viewpoints effectively.
task achievement
The conclusion summarizes your stance and responds to the essay question effectively, providing a sense of closure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economically successful
  • Clean environment
  • Sustainable practices
  • Green technologies
  • Eco-tourism
  • Healthier workforce
  • Healthcare costs
  • Short-term economic growth
  • Profit over environment
  • Heavy industries
  • Developing countries
  • Sacrifice
  • Economic development
  • Transitioning
  • Balance
  • Sustainable development
  • International cooperation
  • Incentivize
  • Eco-friendly business practices
  • Investment in education
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