IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds . All levels of education , from primary school at tertiary education , should be free To what extent do you agree with opinion

#education #people #backgrounds #levels #school
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The world is very different nowadays .Many
people
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 think that
education
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 must be available for all
people
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 and be free. I only partially agree with
this
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 idea.
On the other hand
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, I completely agree that
education
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 should be accessible to all
people
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, of all economic backgrounds.
However
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, I do not agree that
education
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 should be free for all
levels
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 .
This
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 essay will give information to support my opinion . I agree one hundred per cent that
education
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 should be available for everyone in society .
Firstly
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 , it is very important for all
people
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 students to have knowledge . They need to accept new information about the world.
Although
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education
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 is learning new skills for life .
Secondly
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, all
people
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 need to talk with friends .
However
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, schools for all
levels
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 can communicate with teachers and students which is great for
people
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.
This
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 can change the culture of
people
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 in the school and that is wonderful .
Finally
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 ,
education
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 must be for all
people
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 to
work
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 . Some jobs need
people
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 to finish their
education
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 to
work
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. The big companies prefer to
work
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 with
people
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 who study at all
levels
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 and have different skills .
However
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, I do not agree that all
levels
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 of
education
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 should be free .
Firstly
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 , all
levels
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 of
education
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 are very expensive .
Also
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, the government gives
education
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 free which is very difficult . Because the government must
also
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 spend money on hospitals and other important things.
Secondly
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 , some
people
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 do not care about studying . They give free study for all
levels
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 not accept for any things from the country .
Finally
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 , most jobs do not need the workers to
studyat
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study at
 a high level . Some jobs need
people
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 to do simple
work
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 . In conclusion, it is easy to see that I support the idea that everyone should be allowed to get an
education
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.
However
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, I do not agree that it should be free at all
levels
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by alfred on

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task achievement
Develop a stronger argument by including more specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Try to better organize your ideas within paragraphs to improve the logical flow of your writing. It can help to have clear topic sentences and a progression of thought that ties back to the central thesis.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, laying out the writer’s stance and summing up the main points discussed.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing awareness of different perspectives, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessible
  • economic backgrounds
  • primary school
  • tertiary education
  • free education
  • fundamental right
  • social mobility
  • economic mobility
  • reduce inequality
  • financial barriers
  • educational opportunities
  • government funding
What to do next:
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