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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the level of satisfaction of health care system in four countries in three years.

The line graph shows the level of satisfaction of health care system in four countries in three years.
The line chart provides statistics of satisfied level about the system of caring
Change preposition
for people
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people
Change noun form
people's
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 health in Canada,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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,
Use synonyms
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
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, and
Us
Correct article usage
the Us
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 throughout the intervals of 1991 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data reveals
Correct article usage
a contrast
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contrast
Replace the word
contrasting
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 trend.
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of satisfaction in Canada,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, and
Use synonyms
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 areas rose, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
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 satisfaction in
Use synonyms
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
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 increased slightly.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the number of agreement
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 started at above 20% in 1991 followed by a gradual increase to nearly 29% in 2007. Turning to
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 , the figure
of
Change preposition
for
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 satisfied people stood at about 10% in 1991. It saw a slow rise to 13% in 2007. Regarding Canada, the
numeber
Correct your spelling
number
 of satisfication
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 fell sharply from 59% in 1991 to 19% in 1998, before climbing to 40% by 2007.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the rate of
inativielual's
Change noun form
individual
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 satisfaction in
Use synonyms
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 region experienced a steady decrease over the period. The figure in
this
Linking Words
 country was 48%,
then
Linking Words
 it went up to just about 49% in 1998 , but it witnessed a moderate drop to 47% in 2007.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words netherlands with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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