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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the average price per kilo of clothing imported into the European Union from six major countries of origin in 1993 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the average price per kilo of clothing imported into the European Union from six major countries of origin in 1993 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the average price per kilo
of
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apply
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exported into the European market garments in 1993 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were 6 main
cloths
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cloth
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 exporters, and the vast majority
is
Wrong verb form
were
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 the Asian countries. To start with, there are only two countries which have decreased their
prices
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 in 2003. The first one was Argentina, with an average of about 27
pounds
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 in 1993 and just above 25
pounds
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 in 2003. Japan has
also
Linking Words
 reduced its clothing
prices
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 by a few
pounds
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 to some 13 in 2003. Except for Argentina, Brazil is the second Latin American exporter,
however
Linking Words
, the price of garments has remained the same, at about 23
pounds
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 on average, throughout the observing period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 3 out of 4 Asian states have increased the average value of exported garments.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Bangladesh
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Bangladesh's
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prices
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 have grown twice more throughout 10 years, reaching almost 7
pounds
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 in 2003. China and India have raised the clothing value not
with
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at
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 the same speed, but the add-ups were
also
Linking Words
 substantial, from 10
pounds
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 on average to just above 15 in the first country and from about 7
pounds
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 to almost 13 in the latest. In conclusion, I want to emphasize
on
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apply
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the trend for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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clothing price growth in less developed Asian countries with low primary values.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Latin America did not act the same, as cloth
prices
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 have either decreased or plateaued.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words prices, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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